


White Noise

by SonataNocturne



Category: Linkin Park
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-02-06 18:04:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 29,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12823086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonataNocturne/pseuds/SonataNocturne
Summary: Mike has been attacked and the future seems unsure.





	1. This is how the ending starts

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! Uhm... So this is my third fanfiction I have ever written. Originally published in LPFiction and Wattpad. Decided to load my stories here too but start from this since this isn't finished yet. Sorry about the heavy start.

Mike had had a long evening at work and he was exhausted. His work wasn't hard but he didn't really have proper breaks. Barely keeping himself awake he started to walk to home. Luckily it wasn't a long way there and soon he would be in his bed sleeping like a baby. It had started to rain and it was nice and chilly for a change. The moon was in the sky making the pavement glisten. He popped his earphones on and got some music blasting from his phone. Music was a good company but it also kept him awake. The streets were deserted in that part of the town but it wasn't wonder since it was so late and the middle of the week. Luckily he didn't have work in few days and could just relax with his hobbies.

 

He didn't see it coming. He really should have had, but he was too tired and didn't pay attention to his surroundings. Someone stepped behind him pulling something over his head so that he couldn't see what was happening. He didn't even get to scream properly. It was more like an quick: "Eep!" and then he was pulled inside a van. It took seconds for him to even realize that he had been kidnapped. Or something like that. 

 

"What the fuck?!", he yelled his voice muffled inside the thing over his head. It smelled like sweat and something else that he couldn't quite put his finger on. The car started to move at the same time startling him.

 

"Shut up", someone trashed him against the side of the car roughly chest first. "That off and cover his eyes. I want the mouth free", another voice said.

 

He was grabbed by his hoodie and then tried to swing his arms but got his head hit against the cold steel instead. "That would leave a mark", he thought. The thing was pulled off of his head with his earphones that were still playing his favorite tunes and replaced with a blindfold and then he was pushed on the floor. Now he was confused and scared.

 

"I really have no idea what you want from me but I don't have money and...", he started but stopped when he felt a sharp kick on his side. He felt a snap and it hurt like shit. He was certain he had a rib broken. At least one of them.

 

"He said: SHUT UP!", the person yelled right on his ear when he was trying to catch a breath grimacing.

 

"We don't like to repeat ourselves", the voice continued on lower tone.

 

"Were here", a third voice joined the other two and he noticed the car had stopped. They hadn't driven that far.

 

He tried to get up but was punched in the face. "That will leave a mark too", he thought when he felt blood starting to flow from his nose. He coughed and groaned. They certainly didn't mind to hurt him, which made the panic arise. He was trying to breathe calmly and figure out what to do. Then he heard shifting inside the car and waited what would happen next.

 

A weight was then on top of him holding him on his shoulders pushing thumbs deep into the sensitive skin under his collarbones. He gasped and wriggled.

 

"You know... We have watched you for some time already. When we heard you would have this rare late shift we decided it is time", the person whispered in his ear voice filled with excitement and anticipation. Mike's heart dropped when he felt something hard on his leg. "That isn't what I am thinking, it can't be."

 

"Go on with it. We don't have the whole night you know", not so patient voice hovered on top of them.

 

The other man grunted and started to unbuckle Mike's belt. His mind was screaming all kinds of warnings and questions and he felt like he would go crazy. "What is this?". Then he was turned on his stomach roughly which made him yelp.

 

"Give me a hand?", the voice said to another. He tried to kick but it was in vain. The person was sitting on his thighs. The other voice came closer and ripped his hoodie off of him following with his t-shirt and then grabbed his arms. Laughing the other got up and pulled his pants down continuing then with his boxers. "What the hell?!", he screamed and was rewarded with another kick to his ribs. He gasped and grinned from the pain. Now he was totally exposed only some thin fabric between him and the floor. And scared that this wouldn't end well. They would most likely just kill him.

 

"You really don't know how to shut up?", the voice muttered. "I don't mind you screaming and pleading which you will soon do, but talking... That is a no", it continued.

 

He squirmed but it wouldn't help. He felt like crying but was still too shocked by the situation to comprehend it. Echoes of small metallic noises and words changed between the men filled the van for a moment.

 

Then the person shifted behind him and slowly thrusted inside of his virgin opening. "No no no no no no no....." Just like that. He squeezed his eyes shut and screamed from top of his lungs. Not just cause it hurt like hell. But cause he was so beyond humiliated. It was like all of his pride and dignity were being drained out of him. The walls were now crashing down and the time froze completely.

 

"Please don't...", he pleaded when the man pushed him harder against the floor impaling him again violently. He could feel the warm member inside of him invading the most private part. He cried out in fear and pain. It felt like being cut in half and he felt his skin ripping. He tried to fight and pull his hands free but the other man was way stronger than him and the hard grip on his wrists stayed. Tears ran from his eyes wetting the blindfold. He was choking on his sobs. And they laughed. They laughed like it was funny. He couldn't believe his ears. "This isn't really happening. Right? I am having a terrible nightmare and will wake up soon", he thought desperately. He bit his lip to lessen the pain but it didn't help. All his senses were heightened and more he tried to escape it mentally more it hurt.

 

"He really is a good fuck", the man grunted directing his words to the others pumping in and out of him gripping his thighs roughly. He wished he could just shut them out but it wouldn't happen as long as he was conscious. When he was screeching from the pain rushing trough him it seemed only to excite the man more. It felt like he had the air sucked out of his lungs.

 

"Let me go, please...", he begged sobbing. He was now hyperventilating between the sobs and salty tears were stinging on his eye that was swollen under the fabric covering them both.

 

"I want some too.", the man holding his wrists grew impatient. The other behind him groaned and sighed.

 

"On your fours", he commanded pulling out of him. Mike gasped to the sudden stinging sensation.

 

"Now!", the man shouted stepping on his ankle which twisted nastily. Yelping Mike did what he was told to do. He knew he really didn't have a choice and tried to calm himself by thinking it would be over soon.

 

The man adjusted himself behind him again holding painfully on his hips when he felt the other man grabbing his chin.

 

"Now be a good boy and open your mouth. And no teeth or you will regret the day you were born!", he stroked Mike's bottom lip with his finger. "He doesn't mean he would... it can't be", he thought.

 

The man didn't want to wait anymore and slapped him hard on the side of his face making him gasp and open his mouth. Which was just perfect for the man who took the chance and showed his raging hard on in his mouth. He almost gagged when the taste the foul saltiness of the man's member hit his tastebuds. The man started to fuck his throat pulling from his hair to get deeper. "I should have had my hair cut when the boss asked. I should have". 

 

"Good boy", the man behind him muttered and pushed himself inside Mike again slowly adjusting to the rhythm now when there were two inside of their fuck.

 

He screamed in agony which came out muffled when the man started to pound in him again mercilessly. It was like he was being ripped apart. Then the smell of his own blood hit his face with full force and he felt like throwing up. He tried to push the man out of his mouth but the man grabbed his wrists again pinning them behind him and spat on his face.

 

"Don't you dare to touch me", he growled in a voice that made Mike's skin crawl and pushed further in his throat. 

 

His mouth was burning and the blood still trickling from his nose didn't help with the breathing. Nor the possibly broken ribs. Drool was dripping from the corners of his mouth when he tried not to gag. The man fucking him was picking up the pace and all he wanted to do was to disappear. "Why me? Why are you doing this to me?", was the question that was hanging in the thin air that was filled with groans and panting and the smell of sex. The feeling was so horrifying. He felt so powerless. Caged and used. He wanted to escape and forget it all. The hard rubber on the van's floor was getting his knees to this road rash kind of state and the fabric in between didn't help anything. He couldn't take it much longer.

 

The man groaned and sunk his teeth on Mike's shoulder spilling his filthy cum inside of him making him shiver and whimper. The man fucking his mouth laughed and hardened the grip on his hair. He had now the boy only for himself for a while. Mike felt dizzy and his knees were giving in but fearing what would happen if he wouldn't pull through he tried to focus to anything else so he wouldn't fall. But it didn't take that long for the other man either and soon he was shooting his hot load on Mike's mouth making him feel sick. The man let go of his hair patting him on the cheek demeaning him even more.

 

"There. I have had enough of the screaming already", the third man spoke. Same time when he was about to spit the cum from his sore mouth it was covered with duct tape forcing him to swallow it. It burned on the way down his coarse throat and he fell on his side bending in fetal position shuddering intensely. He felt the thick cum leaking out of him mixed in his own blood. "It has to be over, it has to be. Please let it be over....", he was thinking feeling the world spin.

 

Again some quiet talk in the van and shifting around. The third voice came then on top of him. "You're such a nice little fuck, aren't you? Dripping cum and used...", it said making him want to die then and there.

 

He didn't really care anymore. It was too much. He was hurting but he was also mentally beaten. Torn bare to his bones and he didn't want to deal with it. The man behind the voice licked his neck making him whimper and squirm. He nibbled hard enough to leave mark on his collarbone. Mike wanted to tell him to not to touch him. To let him go. But he couldn't. And it wouldn't even matter. They weren't finished with him. 

 

The man twisted him roughly adjusting to the position he wanted. Mike screamed against the tape when the man pushed himself inside of him. He grabbed his throat pressing on his windpipe painfully and groaned on his ear something filthy. "Please just kill me and put me out of my misery", he thought feeling his breathing getting heavier. It would be a relief. But no, it wasn't their plan. His throat was soon released and the man thrusted harder on him. Mike clawed the man with his free hands with all of his powers left.

 

"Stop that struggling. It is annoying and will only lead you hurting more", the man grabbed his arm twisting it and making him groan from pain and then fall silent.

 

That was it. Now he felt like he was a rag doll being tossed and moved around. He wanted to struggle but didn't have any strength left and felt better of dead. It was all too much. Like he was being cut with a blade from the inside and every single movement stung like thousand needles. He tried to focus to the few voices around him. To anything really to escape the pain and the humiliation. He sobbed and turned his head away from the tongue that was on his neck and jaw. Same time the man grabbed his waist leaving more bruises behind. He fucked him hard and ruthlessly making his consciousness blur. The pain was taking him slowly over the edge.

 

"You feel so amazing...", the man whispered hoarsely on Mike's ear pushing even deeper into him pinning him down. With one more whimper Mike's brains shut down finally and he fell mercifully to unconsciousness. They didn't care. He was just a hole for them. Or two holes to be exact. The man was soon finished with him pulling out wiping his dick on Mike's own boxers.

 

"He passed out? Really?", one of them slapped his cheek.

 

"Who cares. Toss him outside with the sheet and the clothes. Don't want his blood staining the floor", the other laughed. The third one joined the laughter and stomped on his hand to make sure he wasn't pretending. Even though it wouldn't really matter. They were finished with him for now.

 

The van's side door opened and he was rolled on to the sidewalk wrapped to the white sheet hastily and his clothes tossed after. But he didn't know any of it since he was still unconscious. One of the men gave one final look to their victim grinning and pulled the door back closed before the van sped up leaving him to the rain.

 

\------


	2. My insides all turned to ash

Someone else was also walking alone that night. Chester was frustrated with all the bickering with his friends and decided to take a walk before he would start to throw some stuff around. It was bit chilly and little bit raining and also really late but he didn't mind. He didn't have anywhere to be next day so he could sleep in. He walked to an alley to take a longer route around a park but didn't get further when he noticed a shape of a human in the ground. His first thought was that it would be some drunken homeless person but when he got closer he noticed bare skin. And no homeless people would have bare skin in this weather. He walked slowly next to the person to see what was up. The person had white sheet around him and next to him there were pants, underwear, shirt and hoodie. No shoes though which he found weird. 

 

Next thing he noticed was blood. Lots of it. He held his breath fearing already that the person would be dead and stepped to look for pulse. Which was there. There was also a blindfold and duct tape and he was sure the person had been attacked. He slowly lifted the blindfold to see better. Then his heart dropped. It was a man probably same age as he is. And he was beaten. His other eyes was really swollen and he had red marks, cuts and bruises all over his neck and face.

 

"Fuck", he grunted and started to search his phone. Hospital would be the place now. He couldn't even see where the blood was coming. But he didn't have his phone with him. He had thought that his annoying friends would probably just call him so the supposed to be relaxing walk would be turning then into not so relaxing.

 

Maybe the man would have a phone was his next thought. He turned the clothes around and found it. But it was dead. "Dammit", he thought. The walk back wouldn't be that long so he folded the clothes to take them with and then lifted the man slowly on his arms. He was certainly bigger than him but he had spent some time on gym. Shaking his head to the sad sight and checking he didn't leave anything behind he started to walk back to the house.

 

"Brad! Open up!", he kicked the door not able to reach his keys.

 

"For fuck's sake Bennington use your keys!", the man shouted back but came to open the door anyway freezing there on the doorway.

 

"What the hell?! I thought you weren't supposed to be bringing boys here anymore", the other man tried to joke but didn't quite achieve the reaction he wanted.

 

"Yeah yeah yeah... Get Rob, we need to call ambulance", Chester walked past the curly haired man and carried the still unconscious unknown male to their light blue couch. Rob's mum had given it to them. It was ugly, but it was clean and comfy so they didn't mind.

 

He fetched then a warm fleece blanket and carefully teared the duct tape from the mouth of the man. Folding the fleece around him Chester tried to wake him up.

 

"What the hell...", Rob came to the room.

 

"Exactly what I said first", Brad answered.

 

"I have no idea what has happened. I found him from the alley. He has this white sheet around him which is bloody. Like, really bloody. And I think those are his clothes", Chester pointed at the pile of clothes he had brought with him. The other two stared at him mouths open when suddenly they heard wailing from the couch.

 

Chester got closer and waited for the man to open his eyes.

 

Mike opened his eyes and panicked instantly. He had no idea where he was but three man staring at him wasn't really something he was expecting to see.

 

"Please please... Not anymore, don't", he cried out and folded himself into a small ball shutting his eyes tightly.

 

Chester glanced at the other two and gulped then. "Poor thing..."

 

"Hey... We are not going to do anything to you. I found you outside and cause I didn't have phone with me I had to bring you here to call the ambulance. So please relax, no one...", he said but was interrupted soon by heart breaking cry.

 

"No! Please no hospital!", Mike stared at them now panicking even more. He was hurting so badly but he didn't want to get poked and probed and..

 

"Okay okay! Just please calm down! You're safe here", Chester raised his hands.

 

Mike let out a sad sob and got silent then.

 

"What now?", Rob wondered.

 

"I have no idea. But it is getting late and we all need sleep. But... Shit I don't know", Chester scratched his head.

 

"He seems really hurt but if he doesn't want to see doctor we can't force him", Rob shrugged pouting his lip.

 

"Hey... I think I know who he is. We went to school together. He is called Mike. Mike Sh... something. He is half Chinese. Japanese. Well, something Asian.", Brad realized.

 

"Half something is good description now", Rob muttered sadly.

 

"I'll talk to him", Chester bit his lip approaching the man carefully.

 

"Mike? Can I sit here?", he wanted to be careful cause the other man looked so scared. But he also needed to be the adult one and make him as comfortable as he could.

 

Mike nodded and tried to frown. But he really couldn't cause it hurt so much. "How does he know my name?"

 

"Brad told that you two went to school together", Chester explained quickly pointing at Brad.

 

Mike glanced at Brad. "He does look familiar... That hair especially", he thought but didn't answer.

 

"So... You can stay here as long as you need. I think we need to get some ice on your eye and clean up the wounds. Then maybe you could use some food and a painkiller? You can sleep in my bed tonight and I'll get a mattress on the floor. Would that be fine for you?", he told slowly smiling softly. "He looks terrible. God, I wish I knew what happened"

 

Mike inhaled and nodded little bit. "Who was this person and why was he helping him?"

 

Chester got up to get the first aid kit and the ice instantly. Rob wanted to help and went to see if there would be something to make a warm meal. They usually just ate outside or ordered pizza if Rob's mum wasn't cooking. Mike watched them all closely not wanting to move an inch.

 

"You know this will sting", the blond man nodded pouring the alcohol on a cotton swipe. Mike nodded again and watched then the other man get closer with his hand. His instant reaction was to hit him but he only flinched back. Chester noticed his reaction and stopped moving. "Oh my god...", he thought feeling his heart break.

 

"I won't hurt you", he then said quietly staring into those beautiful brown eyes that were filled with pain. Mike swallowed and let his gaze drop nodding then giving a permission for him to continue.

 

"You have lots of blood dried under your nose and chin. It can be hard to get off but I'll try", Chester told him. He figured that most from the blood he had seen had come from the nose and there wasn't any wet blood anywhere so he wasn't that worried than earlier. But he was still worried. A lot.

 

Chester moved really slowly during the whole procedure and tried to be extra careful. Then Rob came to them holding a steaming cup of noodles on his hands.

 

"Just eat. I'll hold the ice", the blond man nodded lifting the ice pack slowly on his eye. Mike took the noodles and started to eat. His throat was on fire but he was so freaking hungry.

 

Rob stared at the man horrified. What ever had happened it had left also invisible scars. The man flinched to basically all quick movements.

 

Mike was quickly finished with the eating and handed the bowl back to Rob trying to smile a little. It hurt too, but he wanted to smile. They were being so kind and he couldn't believe it. Rob took the bowl and handed him a painkiller and a glass of water which he took also gladly.

 

"And now you will rest okay? Tomorrow is another day, don't worry about it now", Chester smiled and gave his hand out so Mike could grab that for support. Mike wrapped himself better to the fleece and got up slowly. But he made only two steps and then he fall onto the ground letting out a terrible scream. Chester got him on his arms quickly scared what was happening.

 

"Shit. I'll carry you. Are you fine?, he bit his lip watching the grimacing man on his arms. Mike wiped the corner of his eye and nodded again. The blond lifted him up and carried to his room leaving the other two man stare behind them. Mike was grinning the whole time. It hurt so much but he didn't want to be a burden. The other man was already carrying him which was already too much. Chester lowered him on the bed and tossed some stuff aside to make the room look cleaner.

 

"You okay there? I will come to sleep soon but I'll fetch your clothes and the mattress from Brad's room. And... Can I get the sheet? It is bloody and I don't think you need it", he said. The other man looked so fragile in his big bed.

 

Mike whimpered but started to tear the sheet off around him trying to remain inside the fleece that was on top of it. Chester was weirded out by that. He didn't really know what to think. It wasn't like he hadn't seen naked men before. He grabbed his blanket and tossed it on the man smiling and making sure it wasn't that awkward. Mike handed the sheet for him keeping his eyes on the wall. He didn't want to see it. Or see what the blond was thinking. Chester nodded and left the room.

 

When he got back downstairs Rob grabbed his arm instantly and lead to the couch not saying a word. There was a decent sized spot of blood where Mike had just sat. Brad stared at the blond in the corner of the room silently waiting for his reaction. Chester glanced back at Rob baffled. But when he saw his face Chester's heart shattered to millions of pieces. Rob's eyes where moist and he had terrible sadness written all over his face. How could he have been so stupid? It was so clear that the man had been raped and not only beaten. Why didn't he realize that sooner? And he was still bleeding...

 

"What do we do?", he whispered feeling tears well up in his eyes.

 

"I don't know... I really don't know", Rob hugged him letting his tears fall too.

 

\------


	3. I'm too weak to face me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally I can publish this same time here too. Will be adding my first already finished story here tomorrow or so. But here you go. Review please :)

Mike woke up alone. He remembered right away where he was. And what happened. But he brushed the thoughts aside and looked around him. Mattress on the floor was empty, only tangled bed sheets reminding that there had someone slept. There was a neatly folded fresh towel at the foot of the bed and grunting he got up and headed to find the bathroom. Feeling all the dried up blood and cum made him feel sick. The bathroom was almost straight across from the room he was sleeping. His ankle was on fire but he didn't care. All he had on his mind was to get clean and he was so happy that the blond had left the towel.

 

He closed the door and noticed the lock was broken. Cursing it he peeled the fleece around him and stepped behind the shower curtain. It really hurt to move and he couldn't see properly with his eye but he wanted to wash it all away. All the pain, all the memories, all the humiliation. He knew all the water in the world wouldn't be enough but he sure as hell would try. He turned the shower to steaming hot and choose products from the shelf in the corner. Stepping under the water he felt tears burn his eyelids but he fought them away. Breathing heavily he scrubbed the dried up bodily fluids from his thighs hardly being able to bend. When he straightened himself again he felt a wave of dizziness hit him. Gasping his vision blurred. He tried to grab on something but managed to only knock over the shelf with the shower products when he fainted and fell to the floor.

 

Downstairs Chester was making some breakfast. He didn't really know what would the stranger want to eat but he tried to do something that would be proper. Brad had left for work and Rob was surfing in web. Then he heard a crash and rumble upstairs and froze. "The hell?", he thought before dropping everything and running up the stairs. He heard instantly that the shower was on so he walked there. When he opened the door his heart jumped to his throat. The man had fallen down and pulled the shelf with him where they kept all the soaps and shampoos. He rushed to him to help. 

 

Mike looked horrible. Chester noticed his left side was ugly blueish, almost black color which made him think there was probably ribs broken. His ankle was swollen and blue, his wrists had blueish circles around them. There were marks on his hips too. Under his collarbones he saw round bruises and his neck had clear handprint shaped bruise and some weird looking smaller red and blue marks. Then his arm had bruises and fingerprints and other shoulder was also swollen. And then he saw the bite mark. There was clear bite mark on his shoulder. It was nasty blue and the teeth had broke the skin too. It was clear enough to count the teeth. It made Chester so angry that he trembled. "What monster would do something like this to a person?", he thought closing the water and picking up the towel to cover the man up.

 

"Mike", he stroked his cheek to wake him up. 

 

His face didn't look any better than the rest of his body. Nose was blue and swollen, and then the obvious eye that was gotten deeper blue shade from larger area. His cheek bone had small cut and it was swollen too. Slowly Mike groaned and opened the right eye that he properly could.

 

"Hey... What happened?", Chester asked smiling faintly.

 

"Dunno... Got dizzy", Mike whispered hoarsely.

 

"Poor thing. Can I carry you downstairs? I made some breakfast but I really don't know what you eat", the other man asked.

 

"I think I can walk by myself", Mike answered starting to get up. Chester frowned but stepped aside to give some space. The other man struggled and had a grimace on his face the whole time. He couldn't even stand properly.

 

"Please, let me help you", Chester whispered. Mike was now leaning on the bathroom tiles standing only on his other leg.

 

"Okay", he finally answered and let Chester wrap his arm around his waist and leaned on him. Slowly they got downstairs Mike fearing that the towel would drop any minute. The blond man helped him on the couch which they had covered yesterday with another fleece blanket to hide the blood stain.

 

"So, as I said I don't know what you eat. But hang on a second", the other man got a huge grin on his face and got to the kitchen just to get back in few minutes bringing a tray filled with food. He had literally turned the cupboards and the fridge upside down to find all possible stuff to eat. Pretzels, Pop-Tarts, quick pancakes, frozen berries and some yoghurt and of course coffee.

 

"We don't really have food usually lying around but... I hope you like at least something. I will get you something to wear. Hopefully some of my clothes fit you", the blond blushed slightly and quickly escaped the scene.

 

Mike stared at the tray. The blond slender man was being so kind and thoughtful but he didn't even know his name. And the other two, where were they? He picked up a pretzel and the cup of coffee first and made sure again his towel was properly.

 

Chester got down soon and smiled to the sight. Mike was sipping up the coffee and staring out from the window. His mind got gloomy soon when he remembered that there was so much head of the stranger still. Stranger... The word was getting weird too. He felt this weird tension and affection towards the man even though he didn't know anything about him. Something about him made his stomach do somersaults.

 

"Some sweatpants, t-shirt, hoodie and socks. No idea would they fit but I hope so. What do you want to do with your own clothes? I can wash them if you want", he put down the pile of clothes.

 

"Toss them away. Or burn them. I don't care", Mike answered glaring still out from the window. Suddenly the other from the two man came from another room.

 

"Hi! Whoa!", he smiled but then his eyes widened when he saw the ribs of the stranger.

 

"You really should go to hospital. There must be bones broken", he shook his head.

 

"I don't care. They will heal", Mike answered trying to get the t-shirt on to hide his bruises.

 

"You wanna tell what happened?", Chester asked carefully. They had talked with his friends and guessed but he still wanted to hear it from the man himself.

 

"I was attacked. But I think that is pretty obvious", Mike snorted. He didn't want to be rude but he didn't want to talk about it either.

 

"You could have died you know?", the blond said sadly.

 

"I should have...", Mike mumbled. A weird feeling was squeezing his intestines.

 

Chester heard that and it hurt his heart. It was a long road ahead and seems like it would a Rocky one.

 

"You know my sister is a nurse. She could come and check you. Just to make sure you don't have anything severely broken you know?", the tall man with brown hair said.

 

Mike thought about it. It wouldn't hurt but he really didn't want to get stared and examined.

 

"Please? You know you can bleed inside.. If the ribs have punctured something I mean", it wasn't what Chester meant but he didn't want to say it out loud.

 

"Okay...", Mike shrugged.

 

"I'll make the call. She has free day today I think", Rob smiled and left.

 

Chester sat down and frowned. The man was trying to get the clothes on but he grinned by every move.

 

"I think I haven't introduced myself yet", he remembered then.

 

"I am Chester. The other dude with the nurse sister is Rob. And the third on who is now at work is called Brad. He will be home in hour or two. This is Rob's place and we just basically crash here. Well, we do pay rent but it is way cheaper to live together than alone. And we have this band thing so we rehearse sometimes at night. Living together makes it possible", Chester told.

 

"Band? That sounds nice... I like music too", Mike tried to smile a little. Talking about random stuff made him relax more and he liked it.

 

"She will be here soon, Rob yelled from other room.

 

"Yeah... We just have started and it still feels like there is something missing. Plus we don't have a bassist, haha!", Chester continued then laughing.

 

"So what do you do?", Mike asked. The man was nice. Like, really nice.

 

"Ain't that kinda obvious? Haha! I sing. Rob plays drums and Brad is guitarist", the blond nodded.

 

"I play guitar too some. But rap is what I do really", the other man answered.

 

"Cool! Maybe you can rap for me some day", Chester smiled crossing his legs.

 

"Maybe...", Mike shrugged returning the smile. "Maybe... Some day. When this all is over", he thought getting gloomy.

 

Same time the doorbell rang and Chester rose to open the door. Rob's sister looked just like him. Except that she was shorter and had blond hair.

 

"Hi. You must be Mike?", she approached the man and held his hand out. Mike shook it softly and got nervous.

 

"Can you leave the room for a second? I'll ask you back soon", the woman asked Chester right away. Chester nodded and went to see what Rob was doing.

 

"First go ahead and tell me what happened. And even though I do this in my free time with no charge I am still under the confidentiality obligation. What ever you tell me won't leave this room", the woman opened his bag which had lots of medical stuff.

 

"I.... was attacked. No idea why me but one of them said they had been watching me", Mike said. That was pretty much as far as he would go in the telling.

 

"One of them? How many were there?", she asked and started to look at his nose first.

 

"Three I believe. Three different voices at least", Mike answered quietly.

 

"Okay. Where are you hurt the most?", she continued now studying his eye with a small flashlight.

 

"My side. I think I have ribs broken. I can't breath properly. And the eye hurts too. And the ankle. Can't put a weight on it", he nodded.

 

"The eye doesn't look too bad. The white is reddish too cause if the capillaries but it will heal. If you have any problem with seeing go to see a doctor, okay? Otherwise the swelling an all will go down in some days. Let me see the side next", she placed the flashlight back down and waited. Mike raised the shirt he had gotten from Chester just enough for the nurse to see. She placed her cold hands on his ribs and felt them carefully.

 

"Yes I believe there are two broken ones at least. They will heal in six to eight weeks. In the meantime no exercise and you also need a sick leave if you are working. Use ice on it and painkillers", she nodded and waved suggesting that he would show the ankle next. She bended and twisted it watching his reactions and studied then the swelling.

 

"Most likely sprained. Try to rest it. And the ice, it is good on the ankle too. You should be able to walk properly in a week or two", she said and started to wrap the ankle up to an air cast. Then she went to look at his neck.

 

"Does your throat hurt?", the woman asked looking at the bruises.

 

"Yes. Eating, drinking, speaking", he whispered feeling overwhelmed. She nodded understandingly.

 

"What else?", she asked. Mike was thinking hard but then he realized this was his chance. He pulled his collar to show the bite mark which the nurse started to study closely.

 

"This might get inflamed since the skin is broken. Human mouth has lots of bacteria. Make sure it stays clean and if there is any signs of inflammation- doctor", she nodded trying to make sure the man listened. He had had a hell if a time and she hadn't event gotten to the worst bits.

 

"Anything else?", she stared at him closely. Mike shook his head.

 

"You know you can bleed really badly for long time. In the inside too. So I really wish you would tell me that now", she talked calmly. She had done this so many times that she knew how the victims reacted.

 

"But you said that the ribs will heal?", he was baffled.

 

"Not talking about the ribs Mike. About the rape. I know you are shutting it out but we need to focus on your health", she sighed knowing already what would come next.

 

"You can't... rape a man", he shook his head turning his gaze down. Suddenly it felt like the air was too thick to breath.

 

"That is bullshit. And you know it. Save it for someone else. I have done this so many times that I have heard all the excuses there possibly are. Believe me, I know it hurts. It hurts so bad that you can't barely breath. But if you deny it it will all come crashing down on you someday so hard that it will suffocate you. I will tell you that sooner you start dealing with it the easier it is. And it won't be easy. But, it will get so much harder the longer you avoid it", she told slowly wrapping her stuff up.

 

"So I will ask you again- bleeding or not?", she sighed. Mike wanted to run. It would be just so easy to run. But he couldn't run from himself.

 

"No. I don't think so", his voice was now barely a whisper.

 

"Good. Here is my number. Call me if you need to see me again. Rob's friends are my friends. Will go and talk to my brother for a while and get the blonde back", she gave a small smile and handed a piece if paper with her name and number written on. Mike nodded and sighed.

 

She went to the other room giving a glance over her shoulder.

 

"Guys. Glad that you found him. I will be short and blunt if you don't mind. You know Rob that I don't sugarcoat stuff. He is mentally way more broken than outside. Ribs broken, sprained ankle, the eye, the teeth mark... All that will heal. He is in denial and it will take a lot to get him open up. So please be gentle with him. And this is weird cause the only one of you three amigos that would need this speech isn't here", she rolled her eyes.

 

"Teeth mark?", Rob raised his eyebrow.

 

"Yeah. The rapist bit him on a shoulder. One of them. Three attackers so I only assume all of them were involved in that too", she shook her head sadly.

 

Chester shivered to the thought. It can't get any worse, can't it?

 

"But I will get going. Call me if it seems like he is in lots of pain or starts to bleed. I am happy to help you know that", she hugged Rob briefly and left. The man got back to the living room after glancing each other.

 

"So... I appreciate all your help. But I will be going as soon as my ankle heals so that I can walk. I just need to know where we are?", he asked when the two man came to him.

 

"You know the little shop that is kept by the old man that has this weird accent? Across to it is a red house in the corner that has weird roof. This is next to it", Chester explained.

 

"Oh. That close. My apartment is just few houses in to the other direction. Maybe if I can borrow some shoes I can get back tomorrow already", Mike nodded. He just wanted to get away from it all but wouldn't tell it to them. He was so glad that they helped.

 

"I said that you can stay here as long as you need. I meant it. And I think you really shouldn't be alone now either", Chester stroked his arm carefully.

 

"And he is speaking on behalf of us all", Rob chimed in smiling.

 

Mike thought about it. Maybe it was better to be amongst the others. They were nice and if he was alone he would just dwell on sadness probably. At least this way he could forgot more easily. He nodded slowly.

 

"Yay! I think we need to celebrate our new friend when Brad gets home and order in something else than pizza, don't you think?", Chester chuckled to the taller man. Rob laughed back and nodded. Mike watched them smiling. "New friend. That does sound nice", he thought.

 

\-----


	4. Only memories we thought we could deny

Already three days had passed since the incident. Mike was getting better every day and he could put weight a little bit already to his sore ankle. His ribs didn't feel fine at all, but at least the horrible black color had changed to ugly purple yellow mixture. His eye opened almost all the way and the bruise had invaded also his other cheek. Chester joked that he had all of the colors of rainbow on him and Brad added that he was like an unicorn. Mike laughed at the jokes. Not only because they were funny but cause the jokes made him forget the pain he felt inside. Otherwise he was quiet. He listened to the others and but otherwise talked only if he was asked about something. 

 

Chester had fetched some clothes and his phone charger from his place which he was grateful. Well he was really grateful about everything they did. They kept him company, fed him and didn't ask anything in return. Chester even came with him to bathroom when he was taking a shower so that he would fanit again he wouldn't hurt himself. It all was really nice and made him feel good. Only problem was that there was something eating him from the inside. The second he was alone with his thoughts it hit him like thousand hammers.

 

"Whatcha doin'?", Chester appeared next to him smiling. He had this amazing smile which could melt the Arctic.

 

"Don't know. I guess I should call my boss that I'm not ready to come to work yet", he sighed. He was supposed to be going back there after two days. His angle might me ready, but not his side.

 

"I can make the call if you want?", the blond nodded.

 

"Nah. You have done enough already. You know how lucky I am that it was you who found me?", Mike said quietly.

 

"Yeah yeah yeah.. You're lucky to be alive!", Chester winked his eye getting serious.

 

"Well... I'll make the call", Mike grunted and searched his boss' number.

 

Chester shook his head when the other man wasn't looking and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. He was still really worried. Even if the man looked like he was healing fine it was deceiving. Chester just didn't know how to make the man talk. He still didn't really know him. Only the stuff in his past what he had told when he was asked. And about the attack he didn't know basically anything. "It wasn't good to keep it all in, right?", he thought. 

 

He sighed heavily and grabbed two mugs from the cupboard and placed them next to the coffee maker. They were alone most of that day. Rob was meeting some friends and would be home in the evening and Brad was working. He worked a lot. But that was good since Chester had been just fired. His boss didn't understand why he was helping grown up man and didn't want to leave him alone. Even though he only asked for week off. Though he didn't really even like the job or the boss so it wasn't that bad. He grinned to the thought and got back to the living room.

 

But Mike had disappeared. His phone was laying on the floor playing some music. Then Chester heard sobbing from the corner of the room. Mike was there pulling his knees to his chest trembling heavily.

 

"Mike! What happened?", Chester ran to him kneeling and grabbing his arms. Mike startled and backed away instantly shielding his face with his hand.

 

"Please don't!", he wailed scaring the blond. 

 

"What the hell happened!? I was away for like ten minutes!", Chester thought not knowing what to do.

 

"Mike hey! It's me Chester. You are safe. Nothing is happening to you", he got slowly a bit closer trying not to touch the panicking man.

 

Mike wanted to shrink away. He barely heard what the other man said when there was this buzzing noise in his head. It just suddenly felt like he was under water not knowing how to get back into the surface.

 

"Mike please listen to me! Look at me... I'm here, you're safe", Chester whispered, slowly reaching his hand on Mike's shoulder. Mike flinched but didn't back away anymore.

 

"Chester...", he whimpered and raised his gaze to look at the blond. His face was red from the crying and his eyes were filled with sadness and desperation.

 

Chester nodded and got slowly closer to hug the man. Mike still didn't back away but didn't stop the sobbing either. The blond wrapped his arms around the other man and pulled him closer squeezing him. Then he started to hum some song they had started to write with the band stroking Mike's hair. He didn't look at the clock but it felt like long time had passed when finally the man in his arms had stopped the trembling and sobbing.

 

"Can you tell me what happened? I left you alone and you were supposed to call your boss. It wasn't because of him, was it?", Chester spoke softly in Mike's hair.

 

"No... He was fine. He even said that I shouldn't bother him with calls before I am sure I would come to work the following day. But when I finished the call I accidentally opened the music I last listened and... and it started from one I was listening to when... when they... ", he stopped and let out a heart breaking single sob.

 

Chester inhaled and kissed his hair feeling so defeated. Same time the door opened and Brad walked in.

 

"Honey, I'm home!", he yelled joking.

 

"Here", Chester answered back looking at the man who hanged his coat and then noticed them in the corner.

 

"What happened?", he came to them and kneeled frowning.

 

"Mike's phone happened. Music triggered some memories", Chester shook his head. Mike didn't want to move. Now he was safe. The blond was holding him and making sure he wasn't hurt.

 

"Shit. Well... Mike. You know you can't escape a song forever. You will eventually hear it somewhere", Brad sighed walking to the phone still laying in the middle of the floor still playing the song. He paused it and looked at the screen reading the song name where the repeat had stuck.

 

"Head like a hole by Nine Inch Nails. Yeah, like I said. But lucky it wasn't... ", he paused then almost blurting it out. Cringing he covered his eyes waiting for the scream he new was coming. "Ooooopsies", he thought.

 

"Brad!", Chester yelled eyes wide. As a fan of the band he definitely knew what song he meant. He knew that his friend loved dark humor and was tactless but that was way too soon.

 

"I didn't know you listen to NIN", he then tried to change the subject.

 

"I do. Well at least did", Mike sighed still not able to push the memories fully aside.

 

Chester smiled slightly. That was good. One more common thing between them.

 

"Would you like to have the coffee now or stay here?", he asked.

 

"Coffee", Mike answered. Pretty much anything was fine that could push his thoughts into another direction.

 

Brad handed the phone back to Mike and stepped aside to give some space for them to get up.

 

\----

 

Later that day Mike was trying to sleep but couldn't do anything else than to stare at the ceiling. Chester was still downstairs with the others and he just felt like the weight of the world on his shoulders. His mind was on repeat. No matter how hard he tried when he closed his eyes all he could hear was those voices. The low voices of the two man. Other with accent and more raspy. And the third higher pitched. And the van. When it moved squeaking. The metallic noises when something hit the sides of the car.

 

"Oh you're still awake, sorry", Chester noticed when he opened the door.

 

"Can't sleep", he whispered.

 

"How so?", the blond changed into his PJ pants and sat next to him on his mattress crossing his legs. He had let Mike sleep in his bed. Even thought the bed was big enough to fit them both in he haven't even suggested that. The mattress on the floor was just comfortable enough for him to sleep well there.

 

"If I close my eyes I hear only their voices. And noises that the van made", he continued.

 

"A van?", a new piece of information which Chester needed for the puzzle he was trying to fill up.

 

"Yes a van. I was grabbed in there", Mike answered still staring the ceiling.

 

"And... Did they take you somewhere?", the other man asked carefully. The last thing he wanted to do was to scare Mike away.

 

"No. We drove just little bit further and stopped there", his throat was feeling coarse.

 

"Okay", Chester answered reaching his hand over the edge of the bed to stroke Mike's shoulder. Somehow Mike seemed to always tense up first under the touch but then relax even more than he was before the touch so Chester kept doing that. 

 

They were silent a long time Chester softly stroking Mike's shoulder and Mike trying to think something else than that night.

 

"It hurt. At first I was afraid that they would kill me. When they punched and kicked me they didn't seem to care what happens to me. But then.... It hurt like... Like I was being cut in half. They say that when you die your soul departures from your body and watches your body to slowly wither away feeling no pain. I wanted that. But I couldn't. I felt everything. The hands pinning my hips down, the warm breath on my neck. And heard. The whispers, the laughter. They laughed... So then I was only afraid that it wouldn't end. Not that I was going to die. That would have been a relief", Mike told tears trickling down his cheeks. 

 

The whole time Chester held his breath and feared what would come next. That night the room was filled with dark thoughts and silent sobs. Neither of them slept.

 

\-----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the weird black humor thingy. Just came to my mind and I had to include it. If you have listened to any NIN you will know what the song was :S


	5. Please just don't give up on me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blood anyone? Yeah, lol. Sorry, not that bad though ;)

Mike didn't really know what he was doing there. When his ribs had healed enough so that he could bend mostly without pain he had gone back to work. He didn't still do lots of lifting but otherwise he managed just fine. His boss wasn't so sure but believed when he told he is ready. Or more like pleaded for him to allow him come back. He thought that being amongst other people and the constant hassle would mute the noises in his head. The voices and the weird ringing in his head. It didn't really help. But today he was going to drown them. Not really his style but he figured that trying wouldn't be bad idea either. Others did it successfully so why wouldn't he try it too? So he had bottle of rum waiting for him at home. 

 

He had gone back to home just few days ago when he had had the first shift. His new friends seemed to be really worried but when he promised he would call them if he needed anything. The blond one said he would stop by some day soon just to be sure he was fine. Mike didn't really mind have new friends. And he was forever grateful to them so he also tried to be nice even though sometimes he just didn't know how to behave.

 

But now it was already five and he was ready to head home. Walking home had been the worst thing. He knew that they wouldn't be so stupid to attack him again or at least not that soon but now he took different routes every time and never listened to music while walking. And checked constantly over his shoulder jumping always when he heard a car pulling near. Wasn't the way he wanted to live but he just couldn't stop it right there either. He waved a bye to his co-workers and walked outside.

 

Back home he kicked his shoes off and stood to stare at the place. Which was a mess. He was a clean person and did carry trash to garbage but that was pretty much it. The place needed cleaning desperately. He didn't care. Tossing his phone on the couch he opened the TV and walked to the fridge. Pouring a large glass of rum he sat in front of the TV and started to surf the channels. Emotions of sadness, anger, frustration, and mostly self-hatred tried to surface but he took a swig and concentrated on the movie that had just started.

 

\-----

 

Chester was nervous. After Mike had left them and went back to work he hadn't had a single calm thought. Mostly he was afraid that the ribs weren't properly healed yet and that it was too soon for Mike mentally to get back to work. He seemed fine. But then there was this darkness in his eyes. Sure he didn't know had it been there before the attack but he was pretty sure no. And then he couldn't help but to feel this little sting in his heart which he didn't even know what it meant.

 

"Chaz! Stop it! Freaking annoying", Brad slapped him. 

 

He had been flicking his pen back and forth making a sound that could drive anybody mad. They were trying to figure out lyrics to this song. Or more like Chester had few lines repeating in his head and he tried to get something real out of them. But his mind just drifted back to the stranger that has just stumbled in their lives. They haven't seen in few days and Chester just got an 'k' back from him when he send a text message yesterday. He didn't want to push it but he was worried.

 

"Dude! Go and call him", Rob rolled his eyes and tossed a crumbled piece of paper at him.

 

"But then he will think I am some weird stalker", the blond muttered pouting.

 

"Well I'm not going to sit here and listen to that stirring. Same thing last time when you had a crush", the drummer snorted and stood up to leave the room.

 

"Oooooh! Buuuurn! Chazzy Chaz is in love", Brad said in a singsong voice laughing.

 

"Am not! Oh fuck off!", Chester punched the guitarist in his arm and stood up too. Brad continued with the teasing and laughing.

 

He went to grab his phone. Who cares what the others think, he is worried and he will make the call. He searched Mike's number and called. It did ring but no one answered. Not even after fourth time. "Fuck", he groaned. That didn't help at all his nerves.

 

"Guys.. I think I will visit him. He isn't answering", he said shaking his head.

 

"Yeah, probably having some girl over or something", Brad muttered barely audibly. He loved to tease his friend.

 

"Or if something is really up I don't want to blame myself rest of my life that I didn't do anything", he said pushing his feet to his shoes.

 

"You're just paranoid", the guitarist sighed.

 

"Hopefully", Chester answered and stepped out from the house. 

 

Walk was quick and soon he was at Mike's. The house was dark, no light visible anywhere. He knocked on the door loudly and waited patiently. No sign of life whatsoever. He kicked the door now and yelled Mike. Nothing. "Now I'm paranoid", he snorted and picked up his phone. He should have Mike's boss' number still from the first time Mike had made the call to ask for the sick leave.

 

"Hey, is Mike there? Oh... Um no, he just isn't home. Yeah, thanks anyway", he spoke and ended the call then. "If he had left from work four hours ago he really should be at home", he thought. 

 

Now feeling like a stalker he leaned to grab the spare key. Mike hadn't changed the place since he visited the house so maybe it wasn't that bad. Pushing the key into the keyhole he prepared to meet and empty apartment. Which it was. Except that the TV was on static and he almost tripped on Mike's shoes. He pushed the light switch and closed the door behind him.

 

"Mike? It's Chester here", he yelled feeling like a burglar going to get caught in anytime. 

 

No answer and no sign of anyone. He walked at the couch and grabbed the TV remote to close it and noticed the glass on the table. "Rum", he thought smelling it. He was more like whiskey guy. When he turned around he saw him finally. Mike was in kitchen slouched down against the cupboards. On his other hand there was an almost empty bottle of McDowell's rum. And on the other hand empty glass that had broken and cut his hand pretty badly.

 

"Fuuuck. Mike! Wake up!", he rushed next to the man slapping his cheeks.

 

"Heyyy! You came to party too?", Mike slurred an answer.

 

"Yeah well you have a nice party alright. We need to clean your hand. Can't even see the cuts from the blood", Chester sighed grabbing the bottle and pushing it to the table.

 

Next he searched something to stop the blood flow. Well it wasn't really flowing but anyway there was blood coming and staining everything. The kitchen towel looked so clean that he decided to use it now and disinfect the wounds later.

 

"Chaz...", Mike mumbled.

 

"Sorry but this will hurt. Need to get all the glass out", Chester sighed pulling up the tiny pieces he barely could see.

 

"Do you have a first aid kit?", he needed to wash the wounds too.

 

Mike pointed out a corner cupboard and Chester leaned to open it. The kit was brand new, he noticed happily opening it up. Same time Mike chewed his lip. He was totally wasted but even his drunken brains could understand the situation. It was the second time Chester was helping him. And just by accident. He wasn't even meaning to break the glass but he just got so angry and... It just happened to be on the way when he hit the table with his hand.

 

"Chaz", he said again.

 

"You know you could have cut yourself really bad. The artery isn't that far from this wound. And if I wouldn't have happened to come you could have died ", the blond stared at him angrily.

 

"I don't care... I should have", he whispered.

 

"Don't! That is the second time you say that!", Chester groaned wiping the hand with a disinfect wipe.

 

"Chester I really don't care. No matter what I do I always end up inside the van. I can't escape it", he dropped his gaze feeling tears fall from his eyes.

 

"You will. I don't care what I have to do but I will help you to get through it", he tossed the bloody wipes and turned back to look at the hand. It seemed pretty good. The wounds weren't too deep but it could get infected still.

 

"But it isn't your responsibility. You don't...", Mike sobbed. The same suffocating feeling was coming back. Chester started to wrap his hand to a gauze.

 

"Yes I don't have to. But I want to. Cause that is what decent people do. That's what friends are for. So now show me were the bed is so I can put you to sleep", he sighed feeling that the talk would have been forgotten tomorrow when the man would sober up.

 

Mike let Chester help himself up and pointed to the direction of the bedroom. It had piles of clothes at the floor but otherwise it was so weirdly well organized that Chester felt it was temporary. He leaned to help the man get on the bed and sighed. He couldn't leave now really. He pushed Mike's legs over the edge to the bed and started to fish his phone out of his pocket. He would at least call Brad so that he knew he what had happened.

 

"Chazz...", Mike whimpered.

 

"What?", the blond asked back searching for Brad's number.

 

"Please don't leave me", the man whispered his voice cracking.

 

"I won't. I'll just call Brad that he knows where I am", he nodded not really knowing did the man see his nod.

 

"Brad hey... You know something had happened and Mike is really drunk too. I can't leave him alone. So will be home tomorrow. Yeah... I know, I am usually right, hahah", he spoke to the phone and closed it then putting it back to his back pocket.

 

Then there was the question where he would sleep. The couch looked comfy but he wanted to be close to Mike so he could hear if he needed help. Floor... well not comfy and too messy. Shaking his head he pulled his hoodie off tossing it on the floor and climbed on the bed next to the brown haired man.

 

"If you don't mind... The floor isn't really an option", he said biting his lip. But the other man was already breathing softly eyes closed. Chester inhaled sadly. He knew the road would be long but he wouldn't leave the man alone. Not now after this. Mike obviously needed someone to be there for him even though he didn't admit it to himself. He pulled the cover on them and started at the sleeping man. "Why, just why would anyone attack something so pure and beautiful", he thought closing his eyes.

 

\------


	6. Try to be closer to me and I'll save you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all that have stopped by to read, left kudos or even commented. Means a lot to me <3 Enjoy!

It was already noon when Chester woke up on the next day. He had slept pretty decently but got instantly worried about the other man. And then he noticed Mike had wrapped his hand around his waist and pressed his forehead to the crook of his neck. "Shit. This could get awkward", he thought trying to slowly slip from the touch so he wouldn't wake up the other man. "Too late", he thought when a grumpy groan escaped from Mike's lips. Chester knew it was the hangover talking.

 

"Good morning", he said not turning around. He waited for the other man realize where his hand was.

 

"Wow. Uhm.. Shit I'm sorry", Mike took his hand away from Chester's waist instantly feeling embarrassed and backing away. "That's even more awkward than the whole drunken episode", he thought.

 

"I don't mind. I just woke up. How are you feeling?", the blond asked rising to sit on the edge of the bed.

 

"Like shit. Which you probably guess already. My head is pounding", Mike sighed feeling even more embarrassed. He had made the other man worry about himself- again.

 

"But I am fine. Thanks to you", he continued quietly.

 

Chester glanced him over his shoulder. The half asian really did look bad.

 

"Don't mention it. I'm sorry I came in with the spare keys but you didn't answer your phone. And then your boss said you have gone to home already. So I thought maybe something had happened and decided to let myself in", he said. He was still unsure was that appropriate but at least the other man didn't bleed to death.

 

"You called my boss?", Mike raised his eyebrows lowering them instantly back. His head ache didn't agree with facial expressions.

 

"Sorry", Chester cringed.

 

"No I mean that must have been the furthest anyone has gone to make sure I'm fine", Mike mumbled.

 

"Oh.. Well that's what friends are for. But, now I want some coffee and maybe you need to take a shower and a painkiller", the blond winked his eye laughing at the poor man still laying in the bed.

 

"Okay okay...", Mike snorted laughing.

 

\----

 

Chester made some coffee for them but couldn't do anything for them to eat cause there was nothing to eat. Like literally nothing. Mike came then to downstairs hair still dripping wet and a towel hung low on his hips. Chester almost dropped his coffee mug. He hadn't even realized the man was so buff. "Stop that right there", he tried to guide his thoughts so somewhere else.

 

"How is the hand?", he asked after turning around to face the wall rather than staring at the half naked man.

 

"It's fine. Guess I won't be playing piano in some days", Mike sighed. He was feeling stupid and didn't want to blame the booze but it isn't like he did that usually sober either.

 

"You play piano too?", Chester smiled handing the the other coffee mug to Mike.

 

"Yeah", Mike returned the smile sipping the hot coffee. The blond was being really nice again even though he probably ruined his night.

 

"That's cool. Wish I could play piano too. We were actually trying to write some lyrics yesterday. I just got always stuck. Have this idea in my head but then I can't get it to paper", Chester rolled his eyes.

 

"Maybe you could try to explain it to me and then we could figure it out together", the half asian smiled rolling a painkiller on his tongue.

 

"That could be interesting", Chester answered. "He is straight, stop it", he tried to stop that train of thought.

 

Then there was a knock on the door. Mike turned to face the door but didn't go to open it.

 

"Mr. Shinoda, open up. I know you're there", said the voice obviously angry.

 

"Shit. That's my landlord", Mike sighed walking at the door finally. He knew he couldn't avoid that.

 

"Finally! You have four hours to empty the house. If it isn't empty after four hours the rest will go to the dump. And no objections, I don't care. At five sharp the locks will be changed", the middle aged man said like it was a thing he did daily and left.

 

"Fuck. I have been evicted. That's nice... I just wish he could have chosen another day", Mike groaned hanging his head low. This didn't really help his headache.

 

"But they can't do it like that! You haven't gotten an official notice?", Chester waved his arms in the air surprised.

 

"Errrrmmm... I kinda did", Mike grinned. He had just torn it to pieces and tossed to trash.

 

"Shit.. So what now?", the blond sighed.

 

"I have no idea. Don't care about the stuff except the TV and the couch though. The bed is already broken as is the table", Mike pointed at the table which had a crooked leg ready to snap at any minute.

 

"I just don't have anyone to help me to carry to stuff. Or even place to go where to carry the stuff to. I could sleep at work for few days but not longer", he continued groaning.

 

Chester felt like a light bulb turned itself on above his head like it happened in cartoons. Even though he already knew it was also a bad idea.

 

"How about if you join us? I still have the mattress on the floor and Rob and Brad certainly wouldn't mind. If you can pay even some rent they would be probably just happy", he suggested.

 

"I couldn't. I have bothered you three already enough", Mike shook his hand. Generous offer but he didn't want to be burden.

 

"Oh shut up, you're a friend. Besides we need a new couch and a TV", Chester winked laughing. "Friend.. Keep telling yourself that", he hushed the annoying voice inside his mind.

 

Mike thought about it. He had basically lived them already for days and it wasn't bad. It was actually fun. He felt like he belonged.

 

"Okay. In one condition! You go and ask them before", he then decided heading back to his bedroom to get some clothes on.

 

Chester nodded happily grabbing his phone trying not to be too cheery.

 

\----

 

After two hours they had already carried the new couch in with the TV and the old couch out. The old TV would go to Brad's room. The other two men were happy as Chester had said when Mike promised to pay his part of the rent. Now Chester was helping Mike to pack all of his clothes and what else he still needed. Mike snorted. The landlord hadn't even thought further that they would leave so much stuff behind. He would need to hire people to empty the house and carry all stuff to the dump.

 

"Mike! I have searched this everywhere!", Chester screamed suddenly holding an old Depeche Mode t-shirt on his hands. It was a rarer one that he had wanted long time.

 

"You should have it then", the other man said.

 

"Nooooo! You can't just give it away!", Chester's eyes widened.

 

"I can. I just did. It is the least I can do. Besides I think it suits you better", Mike rolled his eyes to the girly excitement the blond had.

 

"Oh my god, I think I love you!", Chester jumped on him kissing his cheeks wet making him cringe and laugh.

 

"What did I tell you yesterday", same time Brad was on the doorway making a snarky comment to Rob who bursted into laughter when Chester's cheeks flushed.

 

"Brad fuck you!", the blond threw Mike's pillow at him. Which he was going two leave there too.

 

"Yes I know you would", Brad answered then escaping the furious singer laughing enjoying the situation more than he maybe should.

 

Rob sighed smiling and helped Mike to finish with the rest the other two yelling at each other and running around the house. He was glad that it had sorted out so painlessly. He wouldn't have wanted their new friend to end up on the street either.

 

\----

 

"You know, I think we should celebrate this", Chester said carrying last few bags to his room. He had given space from his drawers and closet and Mike had already sorted most of his clothes in. 

 

"Me moving here?", Mike was confused how that would be something to celebrate.

 

"Yes. And getting away from that idiot landlord", the blond laughed.

 

"We used to go out often and now we just haven't done it in ages. So it would also be good excuse to relax. There is this nice smaller pub few blocks away where we always go. It has good beer and it's never too loud or too crowded", he continued sitting on the bed.

 

"I don't want to even think about drinking now", Mike shook his head.

 

"Not today, silly. Brad has to work tomorrow. But like after few days. Maybe on Friday? Besides you don't have to drink a bottle of rum then like some Jack Sparrow", Chester grinned crossing his legs.

 

"Oh... Okay, it isn't a bad idea I think. I don't have work on Saturday so it would be fine", he nodded. It has been a long time since he had been out. Few nice drinks with few nice people sounded good like a good plan.

 

"Will check with the others but I am pretty sure Brad doesn't have work on Saturday either", the singer said.

 

"How about your work? Have you found something already?", Mike asked. The blond had told him why he was fired and even though he thought that it was his fault he couldn't but to think also that the boss was an asshole.

 

"I have an interview in this burger joint. The boss seemed really nice on the phone. She said they really need help so if I can only do the tasks given properly and quickly and be polite I probably get the job", Chester answered. He had high hopes and maybe first time ever he was glad that he was most likely going to be employed.

 

"That's nice", Mike answered even though the 'she' almost made him cringe which he didn't understand why.

 

"It's starting!", Rob yelled downstairs. 

 

There was this new movie airing which they all wanted to see so they had decided to order some food in and gather around the TV. Brad was so excited that they had now better new TV but also that he had the old one in his room. They headed downstairs Mike following Chester. "I'm just so lucky that I met them", he thought staring at the smiling blond. It would have been so much worse without them he just knew it. Maybe some day he could pay it all back. 

 

Brad was already sitting on the couch munching his pizza slice. Rob handed plates for them with generous slices and joined the curly haired man in front of the TV. Chester didn't fit on the couch with the others but he didn't even mind. He sat at Mike's feet and was just equally comfortable there. Glancing over his shoulder and getting a warm smile from the half asian was all he needed.

 

\-----


	7. A face that awakes when I close my eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crazy ass long chapter and a roller coaster. Warnings here for the violence and blah blah but if you got past the first chapter this isn't that bad. Sorry for the cliffhanger. Next chapter hopefully on Friday-Saturday depending of your time zone. Thank you for stopping by, leaving kudos or even commenting. You don't know how much it means to me that someone is reading and even leaving a mark.

"Hey, good morning", Rob greeted Mike when he got to the kitchen. The drummer had woken up early and already made some coffee for all of them.

 

The blond was still sleeping so Mike decided just not to bother him and go and make his own breakfast. It wasn't like he didn't know how to but he liked that Chester made it. It was so nice feeling when someone cared of him even though making breakfast was such a small thing. He had lived there officially for few days and it felt like home. He had had all these worst case scenarios about living with other men but they were so nice to him that he couldn't really complain.

 

"So Mike. My sister called. She asked could she come and visit soon. She wanted to check your ribs and the wounds and talk about something. Would that be fine?", the tall man asked munching his toast same time.

 

"Oh... Well okay. I guess it is fine if she wants to waste her time", Mike mumbled. It wasn't like he would be going to pour his heart out to her. Or that it would even matter if he did, she couldn't help with that. And the wounds seemed to heal just fine.

 

"Don't be like that. We all know what you went through. She wants to help and she certainly doesn't feel like it is waste of time. She would have visited us anyway, but she wanted to call and ask are you fine with that too", Rob shook his head giving a stern look.

 

"Okay", the half asian smiled slightly. He didn't want to turn down the help. After all cause of the woman he didn't have to go to a hospital.

 

"Morning! Any coffee?", Chester came to them yawning eyes sparkling with smile. Mike was amazed how the blond seemed to be always in a good mood. And it was infectious so he returned the smile back.

 

Rob turned to pour some coffee for the two man waiting when Chester went to open the fridge and seek something to eat. After Mike had moved with them he had decided to keep always something else than left over pizza to eat. Even just toast or bagels and orange juice but at least something. Which made Brad joke that Chester was trying to be a proper housewife. "With toast, what...", Chester was thinking the previous conversation when Mike wasn't home. "Home, that sounded so nice in a same sentence with Mike", he was thinking pushing other thoughts aside.

 

"Any plans for today?", he asked trying to distract his thoughts further.

 

"Well my sister is coming to bring me some stuff soon from my parents. And then nothing before the night. Which suits me perfectly well", Rob suggested that he didn't even need any plans.

 

Chester nodded his head for acceptance sipping his coffee. Rob made really good coffee so he was glad the drummer got up before him. Brad was of course working but later that night they were going to head out for the drinks like they had planned. It was finally Friday. Mike grabbed also some toast with his coffee and went to sit by the TV and Chester joined him after a while.

 

After few hours of watching boring TV sitcoms the door bell rang and Rob went to open it. His sister walked in greeting them cheerily. Mike couldn't help it but his good mood changed instantly to gloominess. He knew she only wanted to help but she was also the one that brought the attack back to his mind. She changed a few words with Rob who then nodded Chester to come with him. They left the room and them alone.

 

"How you been doing Mike? I heard you have moved in here", she asked placing her bag on the couch.

 

"Pretty well. I went back to work but it wasn't a good idea as you can see", the half asian waved his hand in the air.

 

"Oh. What happened?", she folded her tiny fingers on the hand and started to study the wounds.

 

"I was too drunk and smashed a glass. Unintentionally. Chester cleaned up the wound from the glass. It doesn't hurt really anymore", he sighed. He still couldn't believe how stupid he had been.

 

"It seems like the wounds were taken proper care at the time. If you feel later aching or something weird it need to be checked out. Sometimes the glass shards get so deep that you can't get them out on your own", she smiled. Then she opened her bag and motioned him to lift his shirt.

 

"How about this? Hurting still?", she applied some pressure to Mike's ribs.

 

"Just a little bit. Lifting heavy boxes or something like that is hard but otherwise I think it's fine", he answered.

 

"The bones are most likely settled but it doesn't mean they are fully healed. So be careful still. And the bite?", she nodded.

 

"It's fine. Ugly but doesn't hurt at all anymore", Mike felt like there was something else that she avoided.

 

"How about the ankle?", she pointed at it.

 

"Fine too. It was swollen long time but not hurting now", the half asian said.

 

"Good. Which means you are one lucky human being. Which leads me to another subject. I didn't want bring this up last time cause I felt like you aren't ready. But you know that I have to... Did they use condom?, she said lowering her voice. 

 

Mike was baffled. He stared at the woman back blinking his eyes.

 

"No but why...", he started and when she raised her eyebrows he realized. "This isn't really happening. I just almost, just fucking almost had got used to the fact that I was raped and then this. NO!", his mind screamed.

 

"You got to be kidding me?", he screeched and almost with one leap got to the other side of the room.

 

"I'm so sorry that I have to do this. But it isn't something you can just throw away from the window", she remained calm watching at the pacing man.

 

"No.. I don't... NO!", his voice cracked when he fell on the floor.

 

"Mike?", Chester had heard it an ran straight to the half asian sobbing on the corner.

 

"What happened? What did you say?", Rob had followed him.

 

"I asked did they use a condom", she dropped her gaze to the floor.

 

Chester glanced over at Rob both horrified about the idea. They hadn't thought that this was over. But they hadn't thought that there would be more surprises.

 

"Chester I don't... I don't want to...", the horrified man said amongst the sobs.

 

"I know I know", the blond scooped him on his arms and held tightly. It was so horrible to see Mike being fine and then falling apart. The scars inside were so deep that they needed a lot time to heal.

 

"You know I will never force him. But I will say that at least some tests could be done now easily. I only need little bit of his blood. Rest... Well I recommend that they will be done too but I understand if that is too soon and too hard just now. HIV isn't something to play with though", she sighed releasing only heavier cries from Mike.

 

Rob looked at the two in the corner. Their new friend was now sobbing mess and his older friend was another mess cause of that. He wanted to make the rapists pay but there just wasn't any way how. He didn't blame Mike for not going to police. But it could have helped. Maybe.

 

"HIV. That's... one of the rest right?", Rob mumbled. He didn't really want to think about the possible outcome but he guessed it would be better to ask this all now.

 

"No. For that I need blood. Swab can be done too but I don't have that kit now. The test is quick, the results are ready in five minutes. But I have to warn that it can give false positive. If it is negative it is hundred percent negative. If it is positive in this test there is still about fifty percent possibility that it is really a negative. And still you know how it goes in today's world, he might live as long as a person without it if it turns out to be positive. Or even longer", she said searching her bag.

 

"That doesn't sound too bad, right? Only tiny bit of your blood", Chester whispered into Mike's ear. The other man had stopped the trembling but tears were still running down his cheeks slowly. But then Chester noticed a small nod against his shoulder.

 

"So you talked about a swab. How is that done?", Chester asked then.

 

"I use a long q-tip and swipe it on the inside of the cheek. That's all. I get results probably in a week or so. But that isn't needed unless..", she gulped and stopped the sentence. She had had these conversations a lot, but it doesn't mean she would like to have them. It was always hard.

 

"Unless what?", Chester turned his head to face the woman. He tried not to be angry cause she was professional, but his voice was still tight from his feelings.

 

"Unless there was oral sex without a condom", she finally said sighing.

 

Mike didn't say anything but his reaction told the answer to the blond. He gasped for air and let out a single wail gripping tightly Chester's shirt. This was all bringing it back again and the blond almost felt the pain that was ripping Mike's heart apart.

 

"Shit", Rob said quietly turning around. More surprises.

 

Same time the door opened and Brad walked in. He started to say something but fell silent when he saw the situation. He kicked his shoes off and walked to them.

 

"What's going on?, he said squeezing his lips into a thin line.

 

"She wanted to know if they used a condom. And they didn't. And... they used the mouth too", Rob answered not looking at the other man. It was so hard to even say those words. The puzzle was starting to become whole and the picture in it looked something he didn't want to see in a first place.

 

"Does this ever end?", Mike said suddenly so much sorrow in his voice that they all froze up. He wanted to run but it wouldn't resolve anything.

 

Rob squeezed his fists tightly and felt like he was going to scream just any second now. "Why, just why did this have to happen?", he thought.

 

"I think that some day you will get past it. Forget, no. But live with it, yes. Understand that you couldn't have done anything to prevent it. Or to end it. Or to erase it now. So I only ask that you dig up the courage in you and let me take few tests. That doesn't bring peace, but it will at least be one step further", Rob's sister spoke then.

 

"Is it... would it be possible that you don't tell me what the tests are. Only then if... if it is positive?, Mike said quietly. He hated the whole idea but he also knew that the woman was right.

 

"Yes, we can do that", she gave him an reassuring smile.

 

Then he looked at Chester. Cause that was pretty much the only one he trusted now.

 

"You can do it", the blond smiled which was enough for him. Slowly he stood up and sat back on the couch and was followed by Chester.

 

The woman got some items from her bag and placed them on the table. Then she grabbed Mike's hand and held one finger up. After disinfection she poked a tiny hole to the skin and got some blood to a small plastic tube. When she had gotten enough she started to tap the blood from the tube to a paper strip that had some marks on it. Mike bit his lip but feeling Chester next to him holding his hand was calming him down. It was like there was strength flowing from Chester's body to his through the connected hands. Then the nurse wrapped his finger to a band aid and got some q-tips ready. Mike opened his mouth wondering what would happen after this. The woman was quick and soon the q-tip ends were placed on their own tubes and corks placed on them.

 

"Then we wait. Still three minutes to go. I will write your name to these so that we get correct ones back and then that should be ready", she pointed at the test strip at the middle of the table.

 

While she was writing on the tubes all of the three men stared at the strip. Even thought they didn't know what to look at. Brad thought that maybe a tiny elf would appear from the strip with confetti and an orchestra and yell: "You're doomed!" or: "Jail free card!", or something. Rob chewed his cuticles nervously. He didn't know what to think. Like really, a tiny amount of blood could determine his friend's future along few swabs.

 

"There, now we have the result", she said staring at the strip which made them all hold their breaths.

 

"Which is negative", she continued smiling broadly.

 

"So... What does that mean?", Mike mumbled. "Negative is now good", he tried to remind himself mentally.

 

"No HIV", she said.

 

"And the rest. It will take about a week. But they are treatable if we find out them this early", she continued and started to gather her things back to the bag.

 

"Guess we really have a reason to celebrate today", Brad smiled. He was so relieved. And if he was this relieved it would mean that Mike would feel like ten times more relieved.

 

"Wait, treatment, what does that mean?", Mike asked. He didn't want any surprises. Not anymore.

 

"Just antibiotics", she nodded and headed to the door.

 

"You have my number. Call me next Friday, I'll try to get the results then", and like that she left waving a goodbye.

 

"That was...", Rob started. He was still angry but now also happy that one disease had been rules out.

 

"Something I can't comprehend", Chester finished staring at the half asian who seemed still to be in his own world.

 

"You alright? We can reschedule the pub night", he asked from the man.

 

"Yeah. I think I just need a shower and more coffee. Just lost myself for a moment", Mike gave him a slight uncertain smile.

 

"No you didn't. You lost it that night and I have seen only glimpses of it yet", Chester thought sadly but only nodded.

 

They watched the man walk upstairs to the bathroom and stared at each other.

 

"He isn't well", Brad said.

 

"No, I feel like there was calm before the storm", Rob shook his head feeling sad.

 

"But we will be there. No matter how bad it gets", Chester whispered barely audibly.

 

\-----

 

It was dark outside when they left to the pub. The walk was short and weather nice so they decided to walk. Brad was joking with Chester like they usually did which made the blond raise his voice and Mike chuckle. They were so funny when they fought like an old married couple. Like that the place was quickly in their sight. It was in a corner of the street and looked decent to outside. No flashy neon lights or big signs. Just a short name above the door and the door open welcoming them in. 

 

They walked inside and Mike gave a quick glance around. It looked like one of those dirty pubs in movies that had broken glass and spit on the floor. Except that this one was clean. TV was on some sports channel and a thirty-something man was drinking beer and watching it. In the back corner there were some people in few tables but otherwise it was quiet. He was surprised that the pub had dim lightning but wasn't as dark as some others. Music was also decent. Some old classic rock and alternative. Easy on the ears, but also lifted his mood.

 

"Beer? And don't say rum", Chester asked from Mike having an devilish grin.

 

"Ass... Yeah beer is fine", Mike snorted and watched the blond walk on the counter to get their drinks.

 

In the mean time they got a table for them. The tables were for four to six people with couches on each side. Nothing fancy, worn out but clean. Soon Chester got back handing a beer for each. At the corner of his eye he glanced at the half asian. He thought that Mike looked really nice today. Which was weird when he thought about the earlier encounter. Mike's hair was spiked up and he had black hoodie on with grey cargo pants. Chester felt butterflies in his stomach but then he just couldn't believe his feelings. Why now? The timing was worst possible. Luckily he sat next to Mike so he couldn't see his facial expressions so clearly. They had chatted for a while and grabbed second beers when Brad started to stir it up.

 

"So Mike, do you have a girlfriend? Or boyfriend? Or like something?", he asked and glanced at then Chester who was biting his lip so that he wouldn't shout at him to stop being such an idiot. 

 

He gave a freezing stare at the guitarist who just grinned back. That was just one game Brad loved to play. And he didn't even mean any harm, it was just his thing. Rob snorted at the 'or like something'.

 

"No I don't", Mike answered nonchalantly.

 

"But you're straight, or?", Brad continued and Chester was pretty much ready to punch him.

 

"No I... Well I don't really care about the labels. Does it really matter if you love someone?", the half asian continued and glanced at Chester briefly. Which made the blond almost cough his beer up. "I imagined that, right? Right?!", he thought.

 

"Just like our Chester here", Brad wasn't finished.

 

"Brad!", Chester couldn't help it, he just couldn't hold his frustration in any longer. 

 

Rob was of course having fun cause of that. He didn't want to interfere, listening was so much better.

 

"What? It's the truth! You always say that it doesn't matter if you love someone. Even though your last like... well many fuckbuddies have been male", Brad nodded his head.

 

"You know you're an idiot, right?", Chester growled.

 

"Well that isn't a secret either. That you like sex", he heard the man say next.

 

"I'm sorry, this is... awkward", Chester mumbled to Mike feeling his cheeks flush. It isn't like he could shut the guitarist down except doing it physically.

 

Mike was feeling awkward too but no one noticed it. Somewhere inside him there was a weird sting he just couldn't quite put his finger on.

 

"Jesus holy fucking... Can we get another beer's and change the subject", the blond cringed pleading Brad.

 

"Fine. Not like I like talking about your sex life", Brad laughed.

 

"But you do", Rob snorted receiving a slap on the head.

 

\----

 

Few hours later they were ready to head home. The night had went as expected even though Chester was still mad at Brad. He knew that was what he did but it was so annoying. But Mike had had apparently good time based on the look on his face. He was smiling and laughing with them.

 

"I will take a leak. See you outside", he nodded and headed to the toilets.

 

The toilets were also here pretty clean which was also one thing they appreciated. He did his business and went to was his hands when a toilet booth opened. He didn't realize there was someone in so it startled him a little. The man that came our was huge. Not like weight lifter huge but still beefy and really tall. He felt instantly shivers run through him like a warn sign. He stepped aside to dry his hands and felt the stare on his back the whole time.

 

"Aren't you such a nice little thing?", there was suddenly an arm around his waist.

 

"Oh... Well thanks but I gotta go. My friends are waiting for me", Chester spun around to face the man.

 

The man had piercing light blue eyes and a grin that he knew was only bad news.

 

"They can wait, don't you think?", he got closer making Chester back away against the wall.

 

"No they can't. Now excuse me...", Chester tried to get past him but the man grabbed his shoulder pulling him back.

 

"No no, don't be such a killjoy. Let's have some fun", the man was now pinning him against the wall.

 

"I'm not in the mood for fun", Chester furrowed his brows pushing him away which was in vain. The man didn't budge, he was way too strong.

 

"Oh, but I am", the man said in a raspy voice leaning to lick his jawline.

 

"Please just let me go. My friends will be looking for me soon anyway", Chester said feeling tears well up in his eyes. Which was just a wish since he didn't really know had they headed up to home already.

 

"I love when you beg. But save that for later", he said grinning and biting Chester's earlobe. Chester felt the panic arise when the man ripped his tank top in half just with one hand.

 

"Stop it! They will be here any second and you will get your ass kicked!", the blond growled and beat the man's chest with his fists. He was basically lying cause they sure as hell couldn't do anything against that mountain.

 

The man grabbed his wrists with one hand pinning them above his head. And laughed.

 

"I have heard that before. You see, my friend is waiting outside the door and he won't let anyone in. So let's just say it's me and you now", he then started to unbuckle Chester's belt.

 

"No! Get off of me! Fuck you!", he tried to kick but received a punch in the face.

 

"No, let's do it other way around, shall we. Now stop with the struggling so that I don't have to ask my buddy to join us", the man snarled now obviously annoyed by the behavior of his prey.

 

Chester couldn't be believe this was happening.

 

\------


	8. I try to catch my breath again

"Why the hell does it take so long?", Brad grunted. Chester was still in the toilet and they were getting annoyed for the waiting.

 

"I'll go and get him", Mike waved his hand in the air.

 

He walked back into the pub and straight past the counter nodding at the bartender. Then he reached the toilet and pushed the door open. Never in million years would he had thought to see what he saw then. A mountain of a man had pushed the blond against the wall. Blood had been smeared all over his mouth and chin but the other man didn't seem to care. He was groping and grinding against the smaller male who had his eyes closed and tears running down his cheeks. Mike gasped and froze up. Then the other man turned around to face him.

 

"Well! Isn't this nice", an evil smile spread across his face when he saw the half asian.

 

The voice. It was the voice. And it all hit Mike like thousand hammers. All came pouring on him and he felt like sinking. Falling under not able to breath. The man held his friend by the neck staring at Mike like a piece of meat. Chester had shot his eyes open when he heard the man talk. The look in his eyes was horrible. They told him same time to save him and same time to run and save himself.

 

"Get off of him", Mike heard his voice say. It was like the words were just flowing from his mouth and he couldn't stop it.

 

"But why would I?", the man said laughing. The laugh that made Mike's skin crawl. 

 

He turned back to his prey tightening the grip on his neck. Chester coughed and whimpered in a heartbreaking manner. Then Mike noticed a heavy beer glass on a sink. It would be his chance. His only chance. But he wouldn't let it happen again. Not to his new friend. Since the man was focusing on Chester so confident about his size and power Mike took the chance instantly. He grabbed the glass by the handle and put all of the strength he had behind the hit swinging the glass on the man's head. It took few seconds before the mountain realized what had happened. The glass shattered leaving only the handle in Mike's hand. Slowly the man turned around releasing his grip of the blond. He raised his hand to the back of his head feeling the warm wetness of the blood.

 

"What did you just do?", the growl came deep from his throat his eyes flaming with anger.

 

But Mike was quicker. He grabbed the blond's arm and pulled him pass the man. Chester was baffled but he let the half asian pull him with him. They ran outside Chester trying to hold his pants up.

 

"What the fuck?", was Brad's reaction when the two man reached them. The blond had blood all over his face, shirt ripped and eyes red cause all of the crying.

 

"Let's go. NOW", Mike muttered looking at the shocked blond. The man would follow them soon so they needed to leave before that. Worst thing would be that he would find out where they lived.

 

Brad and Rob looked at each other but didn't say anything. Mike pulled his hoodie over his head and helped it on the shaking blond. Then he grabbed him to his arms squeezing him like he would disappear. They walked fast back to the house Mike looking over his shoulder after every few steps. He didn't understand why the man hadn't followed them but he was so glad of it. And he didn't understand how he could have functioned in that situation.

 

When they got inside the house and the door closed behind him they all froze.

 

"Could you maybe explain just tiny bit to us why he looks like he had been beaten up?", Rob was the first to open his mouth.

 

Mike stared at them feeling the air getting thicker and thicker. His heart was racing and his throat like sandpaper. Then his knees gave in and he felt his body crumble. 

 

But Chester was there for him. The blond had scooped him on his arms letting him pour it all out. He was screaming and wailing but Chester just squeezed him harder feeling again the tears fall down from his eyes.

 

"Hey, what is it? I'm fine. You saved me", the blond whispered in Mike's ear. Sure he was in shock but he would manage.

 

"It was him. One of them. The one that talked", Mike wailed.

 

Chester's heart dropped. That wasn't what he had expected but it did make sense.

 

"Are you sure?", he asked. He wanted to be absolute certain of that.

 

"Yes. I can recognize that voice anywhere. I can't erase it. It's haunting me when I close my eyes", the half asian muttered. Thinking about it made him want to vomit. That asshole almost got his friend too.

 

"Can I just do the math? Chester was attacked which was the reason he is bloody. And the man was same that attacked Mike earlier?", Rob rubbed his temple. He was super confused.

 

Mike nodded slowly. He was already way calmer than just minutes ago. They were safe now and Chester's lap was so warm and comfortable.

 

"Which means you can go now to police cause you can identify the man", Brad said. That would be a closure to it all.

 

"No!", Mike yelled. He certainly didn't want to talk to the police. Or see the man ever again.

 

Brad rolled his eyes. The half asian was annoyingly stubborn.

 

"We need to get you cleaned", Mike whispered to the blond still holding him.

 

"I'm fine as long as you're fine", Chester managed to bring a little smile on his lips.

 

"He didn't... hurt you more, right?", the other man breathed. He didn't want to say the word aloud.

 

"No, you found me before it. He only hit me", the blond nodded. He couldn't quite comprehend what had happened but he was happy that his new friend had acted to fast. Mike smiled with the relieve. Blood can be washed of easily.

 

"I think I need another beer", Brad sighed and went to the kitchen. The day had been crazy and it had supposed to be relaxing.

 

\-----

 

Later that night they were still awake in Chester's room. They had talked it all through and couldn't believe their luck. Mike blamed himself that he hadn't been quicker but in the other hand he could come up with hundreds of if's and it wouldn't still matter. The man had said his friend was waiting outside the toilet but obviously that had been just bluff cause there wasn't anyone when Mike got there. Mike had also found the handle of the beer glass from his pocket. He must have put it there when they ran out from the pub. No idea why he had done that but he tossed it instantly. Then he had wiped the blood of Chester's face making sure he was comfortable. The half asian was surprised how tough the blond was.

 

"I know I can't sleep this night", Chester sighed tossing in the bed.

 

"Me neither", the half asian turned to look at the blond.

 

"You know I'm really grateful. I don't know how you managed with that but I'm glad you did", the other man smiled to him.

 

"Returned the favor", Mike smiled back to him.

 

Then Brad came rushing to the room.

 

"Guys you have to see this!", he pulled them with him to his room and in front of the TV.

 

A well dressed news anchor lady was staring back at them in the TV.

 

"And now for the local news. A man wanted for three second degree murders and several rapes was found dead in a local pub earlier today. Possible witnesses are asked to call the number showing in the screen. For now police has determined it as accident"

 

"Really? He is dead?", Mike breathed.

 

"Well I only presume it was the same guy and pub", Brad said.

 

"But the bartender saw us running! Why didn't he turn us in?", Chester stared at them incredulously.

 

Brad shrugged and Mike grabbed Chester under his arm. He thought that there wouldn't come a day when he would be happy because someone was dead but now it was staring straight into his eyes. Guess the man deserved it even though it wouldn't bring back the ones he had killed or erase all the memories.

 

"We will head back to sleep. Thanks Brad", Chester nodded wrapping his arm around Mike's waist squeezing him.

 

"You know I shouldn't be this relieved but I am glad his dead", Mike sighed.

 

"Don't feel bad because of that. He had hurt many people already and as we saw he wasn't really regretting it. Some people are pure evil Mike", Chester shook his head.

 

"I know but I still feel a sting in my heart", the half asian muttered.

 

"That's because you have a heart of gold", Chester smiled hugging him tightly.

 

\-----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And sorry for the short chapter, next one will be again normal length. As you can see there was a purpose for the other attack. Thank you for reading!


	9. And show me how to be whole again

"I think you need to go back to the pub and talk with the bartender", Rob said next day when there were having a breakfast.

 

"Hell no! Are you stupid? He will turn us in instantly", Chester almost choked on his cereal.

 

"Thanks a lot. No I mean wouldn't he already said something when the police came. Heck he was probably the one that found the man!", the drummer frowned.

 

"But I don't want to talk about it anymore", Mike mumbled turning to get to the living room with his coffee.

 

"Mike, think about it. I think he is right. Once in a while that happens too", Brad sighed and snorted then.

 

"Fuck you Delson. Why is everyone picking at me today!", Rob groaned making them laugh.

 

Chester leaned back to think about it. Maybe that was a good idea. Then they didn't have to be so careful and possibly hide from cops. Thinking about the cops coming to ask them question made him cringe.

 

"I think he has a point. Think about it. If we were seen cops will come here eventually. How do you explain it? It wasn't really even self defense. Next they will force you to hospital to get checked up. And then they will use us and Rob's sister as a witness. Right?", the blond went to sit beside the half Asian.

 

"But I don't want to.... Chester I don't want to talk about it", Mike said desperately.

 

"I can do the talking. But please don't make me go alone, okay?", he grabbed Mike's hand to his own.

 

"Fine! What ever", Mike burrowed his brows. He really didn't want to go but if the blond asked he would. He couldn't understand why the other recovered so quickly even when Mike himself had dealt with so such more. It had been still an attack and attempted rape.

 

"Yay! Drink your coffee and we'll go then. What ever comes we will deal with it after we have talked to him", Chester smiled hugging Mike.

 

Brad laughed to that and received a punch from the drummer. Rob didn't want him to be ass again even though it was fun to watch. A beating from Chester hadn't been far last time.

 

\-------

 

After they had finished with the breakfast they headed straight to the pub. The bartender was there and stopped when he noticed them.

 

"I all ready know why you are here", he sighed making Mike want to turn on his heels and run.

 

"I don't need to hear what happened. All I know was that he was bad man and now he is dead and it is a relieve to many. So if it was cause of you, you could be thanked. Killing a man is bad, but raping a woman goes over it. Any day", he nodded trying not to smile. He hadn't known who the man was but if he had known he would have turned him in.

 

"Or man", Chester said quietly.

 

"What?", the bartender got confused.

 

"You said raping a woman", the blond muttered feeling Mike get anxious.

 

"Oh. Shit, I didn't... Guys I am sorry I didn't realize", the bartender cringed. He had noticed the wound and bruise on the blond man's lip and guessed the rest.

 

"Not me, him. But he saved me yesterday. So I think we can say we owe you if you don't...", Chester started but was then interrupted with the man behind the counter.

 

"No no no I won't turn you in. And we are even. One bad man gone from this world... That is enough for me", the man held his hands in air now smiling.

 

Chester nodded to him grabbing the half asian then under his arm. They walked back to home with hearts lighter than in long time.

 

Two nervous men greeted them back there.

 

"So how was it?", Rob opened his mouth first.

 

"Good. He almost thanked us", Chester smirked.

 

"What? He knew you were the ones... well you know?", the drummer's eyes widened.

 

"Well not exactly. He didn't say that he knew we or either of us killed him but he didn't want details and he told he wasn't going to turn us in. And that the man was bad and deserved it", the blond smiled.

 

"That's just great news", Rob sighed poking Brad who hadn't said anything yet.

 

"So now we just hope that you weren't seen by other people", Brad said pushing Rob away from him who just poked him harder.

 

"Rob stop it. You're being annoying", he sighed.

 

"Bullshit. We have already decided ages ago that you're the most annoying person in the band", Rob snorted making the guitarist sulk.

 

"Aaaaaww! Brad you know he is right. Again", Chester laughed hugging the guitarist.

 

"No stop it! You have Mike for that! Besides we don't have the bassist so he can be the most annoying band member too", Brad pushed the blond away from him.

 

"Brad!", the blond felt his cheeks burn. He isn't really doing this again, is he?, he thought.

 

"Jeez Chester. He likes you, you like him and you're both... something. So go on and fuck already. You're usually way faster than this with your lovers", the guitarist groaned.

 

"You don't even know does he.... like me", Chester started but realized then that Mike was still standing in the same room. Nice Brad, very subtle, he thought wanting to kick the guitarist.

 

"It's kinda obvious. For anyone else but you", Brad winked and pushed then Rob out from the room leaving them alone. He wanted them to resolve this and even though he would want to see it he knew they wouldn't talk if they would have stayed.

 

"This is awkward", Mike smiled blushing slightly.

 

"You don't say... Sorry you had to be in the middle of that. Again", Chester sighed.

 

"Well.... It isn't like he is totally wrong either", the half asian muttered.

 

"Yeah you like me, I know. You're good friend. But I don't usually have these feelings. I just have sex. And then meet another man. And have sex again. But as you might have noticed I haven't seen anyone since I found you. Cause I can't stop thinking of you. That kinda means that I have a crush on you. Or something", Chester mumbled staring down at the floor.

 

"I didn't mean as a friend though", Mike said quietly pushing his hands to his pockets.

 

"Wait... Am I interpreting this wrong or maybe hearing. Do you really mean you have feelings for me too? As in more than just friends", the blond raised his brows perplexed. He had really thought that the man was straight and after the talk in the pub he just had pushed aside the wish that maybe he was interested being more than friends.

 

"Yeah, something like that", Mike smiled. He was happy that he wasn't only one.

 

"Okay, kiss already! We don't have all day", Brad shouted from the other room which made Mike burst into laughter. They had been listening their talk, of course cause Brad was curious.

 

"That sounds like you want to be involved, you know Brad", Chester yelled back at him grinning widely. Then he heard Rob laugh and Brad groan some curse words.

 

"But seriously, we are behaving like two schoolgirls. You know, beating around the bushes. Which isn't the way I normally act but it's you who is making me do weird stuff", Chester cleared his throat.

 

"It isn't like we haven't had sex before with other people but this feeling thing is new to me", he continued feeling his cheeks burn. Which wasn't normal for him either.

 

"Yeah well...", the half Asian cringed.

 

"Oh... Whoa! I didn't... Shit. Ummm... So does that mean you're virgin", the blond rubbed his temples. This was getting confusing.

 

"Oh god no... Shoot. That didn't sound good. I mean that yes I have done stuff with girls and boys but not like really with boys", Mike laughed nervously. Getting it all out now, apparently, he thought.

 

"I see.. Well this is now really getting awkward. Guess after the attack you don't even want to think about it", Chester mumbled. He hadn't even really thought about that.

 

"No I just... I don't really want to think about it but I thought I needed more time but then when I think about you I...", Mike didn't know how to put his feelings to words. He was still in the dark place. But now he could see there and that was cause of Chester.

 

"Maybe you're not ready for... well you know, but it isn't the only thing we could do, the blond smiled mischievously.

 

"I know but you said.. Well Brad said you love sex so I figured...", Mike laughed.

 

"Nah. I can wait. Don't think we are in a rush here. But I do need my kiss now", Chester winked his eye. It was really just nice change for the sex on first date- thingy he used to do.

 

Mike blushed. Of course he did, cause he was still feeling his inner schoolgirl. The blond stepped closer to him smirking. Without any further thinking he grabbed the half Asian by his cheeks and pushed their lips together. And Mike couldn't believe how soft lips the blond had. We should have really done this like ages ago, he thought wrapping his arms around the man. In the other room Rob was keeping his hand on the guitarist's mouth so he wouldn't say anything. The drummer knew the man would have otherwise yelled something inapproriate interrupting the moment.

 

\-----

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nooooooo! I feel like this story is ending soon. Hate the feeling! Argh. Next chapter is most likely the last one, damn.


	10. ...I'll fuse it back together

It had been days since the talk with the bartender and they hadn't seen police so they had started to believe that maybe he really meant when he said he wouldn't turn them in. They hadn't heard anything on the news either. Mike had had some nightmares and his ribs weren't still fully healed but otherwise he was feeling better slightly better. Just knowing that one of them was dead was calming him down. The others were trying to keep him as much company as possible and be there if he needed to talk. Even though he didn't want to talk, knowing that they were there was warming his heart. Still he couldn't understand why and how he had been so lucky to met them but he wasn't complaining.

 

And Chester. The blond singer to whom he had grown such strong bond was something special. Now they slept together and cuddled a lot, but he wasn't pushing him. Mike knew he wanted sex. Or more like felt it against his thigh at nights. But he hadn't even suggested it cause he knew Mike wasn't ready yet.

 

Then there was this band they were trying to get to work. Mike had remembered that he knew a bassist which he had of course called then. Phoenix didn't live in the same city but was going to visit his parents in few days and meet them same time. He had planned to go to a college there so if they would like him it would be possible that they could try the band thing. Chester had so many ideas but there was always something why he couldn't finish them. The guitarist tried to help him but made him just frustrated. He sure had good ideas too, they just didn't fit to his.

 

"Brad no! You can't put those lines after these. They don't match at all! Looks like some... Well amateur shit", the singer groaned.

 

"Isn't that what we are?", the curly haired man laughed making Chester roll his eyes.

 

"Mike help! Tell him this doesn't work!", Chester pulled Mike who was just passing by to the fridge to his lap. 

 

Then he grabbed the paper from Brad's hand and handed over to Mike. The guitarist rolled his eyes.

 

"I think it is good, you know?", he said pouting.

 

"The 'wanna cut it out of my soul, and just live with a gaping hole', part is nice but you can't put the 'new cuts cover where the old ones are'- part right after that. Sorry... I feel it doesn't fit like that", Mike felt his cheeks flush. It was the first thing he noticed and didn't even know was it written by Brad or Chester.

 

"See, what I told you!", the singer winked his eye to Brad. The guitarist tried not to be insulted but of course he was.

 

"How about if you put the 'hurting me, the wounds soon scar'- line before the 'new cuts'- part? It would rhyme then. Just not straight after the other two", the half Asian suggested feeling Chester lean his chin on his shoulder.

 

"And I don't think the 'wanna cut'- line is good to start to the song", he mumbled not feeling comfortable. It was their band after all, not his.

 

"I was thinking something like 'it is a part if me that won't go away' as for the first line", Brad said hoping that the half Asian would like his idea. He had a point in what he is saying, he thought.

 

"And then the 'I'm every day reminded how much I hate it'- line works after that. But... Now I have to ask where did this come from. Where did you get the idea?", Mike said scratching his cheek.

 

For once it was Brad who blushed.

 

"You know we kinda... Well what you went through. I don't say it is something stuck to you but it kinda feels like it is and you want to get rid of it", he sighed cringing for all possible thoughts what Mike's answer to that could be.

 

"Yeah", the half Asian breathed feeling a tear escape his eye. That is exactly what I feel like, he thought and stepped up and run upstairs to their room.

 

"Sorry", Brad mumbled hanging his head low. He didn't want to cause a fight or upset Mike.

 

"Don't worry. I'll talk to him", the blond gave him a small smile.

 

He walked upstairs and straight to his room that has now become Mike's too.

 

"Hey. You alright?", he sat next to the other man.

 

"Not really. How were you two able to write exactly how I feel like", Mike answered sighing.

 

He was confused. They had written it down to a paper and he couldn't even explain it to himself.

 

"I'm sorry. I just... We were actually thinking about it simultaneously. I had written few lines and then Brad showed me what he had written. I guessed and asked did he think about you when he had written them. Then we decided that maybe it would be good to write it to a song properly", Chester sighed stroking his hand.

 

"No need to be sorry. I just don't understand how you two could know what I feel. It isn't like you have gone through the same, except with what almost happened to you", Mike shook his head.

 

"Cause we understand", the singer muttered smiling softly.

 

"You know it hurts? If you wouldn't have saved me and stayed with me I would have probably died", Mike bit his lip.

 

"I know. I am so sorry it happened to you. I would give anything to undo it. Anything. It hurts me to see you hurt", Chester got closer and pulled him into a hug.

 

"What was the one line, like I rather not even be than the man that's staring in the mirror through me, or something? Yeah. I can't even look at the mirror anymore without thinking about it", he sobbed into Chester's shirt.

 

The blond sighed and hugged the man tighter. Talk is good, he reminded himself.

 

"You know it isn't that long since it happened. So give yourself some slack okay? You shouldn't even be better now. It would be self-deception. Mind isn't suppose to recover something so tragic so quickly", he whispered softly running his fingers down Mike's spine trying to calm him down.

 

"Yeah but I feel like I'm not enough for you like this", Mike's voice was barely a whisper now.

 

"Stop that. That is utter bullshit and won't lead anywhere. You're always enough for me just the way you are. You don't need to get better because of me but because of you. And you should already know that I am here for you and not going to leave, right?", the singer sighed heavily and squeezed him harder.

 

"But I...", the half Asian started.

 

"No! No but's. Really. Don't try to change or be something else cause of me", Chester pushed him away from the hug to get eye contact with him. He didn't care how long it would take. He just didn't want that Mike would try to pretend to be happy cause of him.

 

Then they heard the front door close and figured that Rob came home from work.

 

"Do you want to stay here? I can bring some food up if you don't feel like being with the others", the blond asked kissing his cheek.

 

"We can go together. I think I can manage that", Mike nodded and let Chester grab his hand into his.

 

They walked downstairs and saw Rob filling up the fridge with groceries.

 

"Dude I'm sorry", Brad mumbled still sitting at the kitchen table.

 

"I'm fine. But... Could I maybe help you to get it finished. I could try", Mike asked shyly.

 

"Oh! Sure", Brad nodded and handed him another pen. 

 

Chester smiled and went to help the drummer. Baby steps. And sometimes few backwards, he thought feeling still confident that Mike could be able to chase the demons away someday. It was a long road ahead but he wasn't planning on leaving.

 

"Chester! Mike is better at this than you, you know?", Brad said after a while.

 

"Fuck you! Besides you shouldn't say something like that to a person who is holding a case of eggs, Delson", he said back laughing.

 

He wasn't going to throw them at Brad though. Cause it would be him that would have to clean afterwards. Rob laughed and grabbed the eggs so that the blond wouldn't get a temptation.

 

"When is the bassist coming? What was it, Phoenix? Who does even have a nickname like that?", Rob asked closing the fridge door.

 

"Today is... Thursday, right? He is coming tomorrow but could meet you on Saturday. Oh and he will tell you were the name comes from. Or show. It is usually the first thing he does", Mike snorted.

 

Rob frowned wondering what the hell does that mean but didn't say anything. He would hear it eventually anyway.

 

"So what now?", Chester yawned after the dinner.

 

"Could we just curl up on the couch and watch a movie or something?", the half Asian smiled hopefully.

 

"Sure if you want", the blond nodded.

 

"If you two lovebirds don't want to be alone I could join you?", the guitarist asked. He sure had his own TV but if they were going to watch a movie he would want to see it with them.

 

Chester shrugged and looked at Mike who nodded. He didn't mind, as long as Chester was there. Rob joined them too and soon they were all ready. Rob wanted to sit on the floor so the other three took the couch. Chester thought it was his turn to lean on the half Asian and Mike wrapped his arm around his shoulders.

 

"You okay?", the singer whispered when the movie started.

 

"Just perfect now", Mike kissed his cheek smiling.

 

\------


	11. Everything will be the same no matter what I try

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING for the triggers and dark themes.

Few weeks had passed and they had gotten used to the normal routines. Even though they didn't really have songs to play yet the bassist had visited them and then had fun with them. So they agreed they would meet up later when he would be in the city. 

 

Chester was working in the burger joint pretty much every day. He didn't hate the job but it wasn't something he would want to do the rest of his life. Mike had gone back to his own work and finally his boss was accepting that he was ready. Well now he was. He still couldn't bend properly but the ribs didn't really bother him anymore. 

 

The healing he really needed was for the scars that weren't showing. Except when he occasionally just had melt downs. He would cry and scream and afterwards feel himself so stupid and helpless when Chester was hugging him and trying to take the pain away. But his talking had improved too. With Brad and Chester he had gotten something on paper that reminded him how silly things he used to rap about. Not so light anymore, he thought. It was still good thing. Even though it made them see what he felt like. What they encouraged him to do, but he didn't really like the 'poor Mike'- looks.

 

They were actually pretty good team. Their style was way more heavier than someone would think rap could fit in but they all loved it and enjoyed making it so they didn't try to force to other direction. Mike had questioned was it really what they wanted cause he still felt like he was kind of like an outsider interrupting their 'thing'. 

 

"Fuck the others. We do music for ourselves", Brad had answered and the rest nodded.

 

Which was pretty much the final word for him and he decided that he would offer his ideas in the future too. They sure were very vocal if they didn't like his ideas. And that was also one of his favourite things in them. Brad would roll his eyes and Chester would giggle. Then they would argue for a while loudly and finally the guitarist would shake his head and say it wasn't good and that he should do it again. After doing it several times again they sometimes got really excited like he was some kind of Columbus. He had even gotten some studio equipment in their tiny bedroom which made them feel like it was a real band and they were really trying to achieve something.

 

Calling it 'their' made his heart feel weird. Their bedroom, their band, their house. He still didn't know what they were doing with the blond but they were enjoying themselves which was the most important thing. Especially after the attack, Chester would have added. They didn't have any rush so they were taking it easy. He could have never thought it would be so much fun just to cuddle with someone. And sleep. Sleeping with Chester was the best thing really. When he woke up in the middle of the night to a nightmare or just couldn't sleep the blond who was breathing heavily in his lap calmed him down instantly. And waking up next to him. Seeing the smile that lit up Chester's face when he yawned lazily and kissed him good morning was such a delight.

 

But now he was getting his last minutes at his workplace done and ready to get home. The boss had been really generous and even made sure he had always a stronger person with him to help with the heavy liftings. Mike didn't mind. Having some company was good but he really did want his ribs to heal properly. Especially when these late shifts could get pretty boring.

 

Walking home had come more and more easier, so now when he closed the store door and stepped outside he was feeling calm. He hadn't listened to music with the earphones after the attack and wouldn't probably in long time. He had tried it though just with lower volume. The smooth cold plastic of the earphones in his ears and music added to that was something what made his skin crawl. So instead he texted Chester that he had left work and would be home soon and started to walk.

 

Today he chose again new path like he did almost every day. Just across few buildings and he was soon home. There weren't many to choose but he didn't like to repeat his routines. And it really was just and coincidence this time. He heard a familiar voice behind him not really recognizing it and turned around.

 

"You're the one that killed Corey", a voice said after he had turned to face the person.

 

The man didn't look familiar. He had similar clothes on like he himself. Just hoodie, sweatpants and sneakers. His jet-black hair was brushed back from his face and his knuckles were filled with tattoos. The facial expression was quite blank even though his eyes were piercing tiny black bullets. The other man standing next to him had weird smirk on his face. Like he wanted to add something to what the other one had said. His hair was longer and lighter and he had tattoos even on his face. This man was really skinny when the black haired man was more beefy.

 

Then the apprehension came to Mike and he felt like suffocating. He was one of them. One of them that had torn him to so little pieces that he couldn't even recognize himself. And the other man standing next him was most likely the third. Suddenly he was dizzy the darkness once again swallowing him.

 

"How do you know th....", he started but then the words got stuck in his throat.

 

He was confused but on the other hand he didn't even want to know how they knew it was him who caused their friend's death. Not like he could reverse it. Or even want to.

 

"We were there before that. We saw you having fun with your cute friends. And then we guessed. And now you confirmed it", the other said with his weird accent.

 

He was quick. But he should have been quicker. He took a step back, turned and tried to escape. But instead of feeling the ground under his feet he felt it push all air out of his lungs when the other man had tripped him over. "Mike, really?! You had a chance!", his mind was screaming.

 

"And that means you have a lesson to learn", the first man pulled his hair painfully making his attempt to catch a breath again harder.

 

"But don't worry. You know already how well we do the teaching", he then grabbed his collar lifting him of the ground and pushing against the wall of the building roughly.

 

He yelped when the tiles scraped his cheek and received another pull from the hair reminding him how it felt back then. Drowning in the feelings he felt so confused.

 

"No yelling. We know where you live", the whisper in his ear made it all just ten times worse.

 

Well that's a classic one, his mind mocked.

 

"Oh you have the zip ties still? Great!", he heard and then felt the sharp plastic on his wrists digging into his skin.

 

This really can't be happening. Not again! Not freaking again, now for the third time. There must be a way out of this, has to be, he thought feeling tears fall down his cheeks.

 

"Please just let me go. It was an accident! I didn't...", he pleaded when the skinny one turned him around.

 

"Shut up. Are you really that stupid that you think you can talk yourself out of this? You made a mistake and you pay for it. Oh! Or maybe you want that we let you go. And then go to your house and choose one of your friends? That would be fun too", they laughed.

 

The laughter that was piercing his eardrums and echoing in his head. Anything but his friends, anything. That he couldn't bear.

 

"No! Please no! Leave them alone", he gasped feeling knuckles hit his face.

 

"Yeah. So then shut up", the black haired man growled wiping the blood off his hand.

 

"Will you do the honor and be first? Don't think we have much time and I want to have fun with his mouth again", the he said winking an eye to Mike.

 

His knees were going to give in when he felt the inevitable getting closer like a freight train. But maybe he really was lucky. And this time the luck arrived before the train in a form of an police officer.

 

"Nobody move!", the shout was so quick that it startled them all.

 

The black haired man turned his piercing gaze to him eyes so full of hatred that it made shivers run down his spine. The other growled angrily but they both obeyed. Not really the police but the gun he was pointing them with. Calling for back up the police stepped just tiny bit closer to them and Mike couldn't thank his luck enough. The back up arrived shortly and soon the hassle around him kicked in full force and he fainted.

 

At the house Chester was groaning anxiously. It took usually twenty minutes or half an hour for Mike to get home. Now it had already been hour and a half. He couldn't chase away the feeling that something was wrong. Something had happened to Mike, he knew it.

 

"Calm down, Chester please", Brad sighed.

 

"No! I wasn't wrong last time either!", he tried to dial Mike's work place again but no one picked up.

 

That was his only clue. He knew Mike had left work but that was it.

 

"Brad I can't deal with it if something has happened to him. I need to find him!", he yelled pacing around.

 

"You can't search the whole city! You don't even know which route he took this time", Brad shook his head.

 

He was trying to be sensible when Chester was just following his heart. Which wasn't a bad thing, but now it just didn't help.

 

"Brad please you have to help me!", the blond was getting desperate.

 

At same time his phone started to ring. Frowning for the 'unknown' on the screen he answered.

 

The guitarist stared at Chester who spoke to the phone. He was first confused and then his voice got high pitched.

 

"Yes, he is my friend. What?! Oh god... Where? Okay, I'll be there".

 

"Mike is in hospital! We need to leave now", the blond was on full panic mode now.

 

"WHAT?!", Brad yelled startling Rob in the kitchen.

 

"Now! Rob is the car still functioning?", Chester asked getting his coat on.

 

Rob's mom had borrowed her car for them so that they could pick up the studio equipment Mike had bought.

 

"Yeah, but I think it needs gas", Rob was confused what was happening.

 

"Okay okay!", the singer waved his hand and grabbed the car keys.

 

But before he had stepped out from the house he felt a hand on his shoulder.

 

"You're not going alone", Brad gave a slight smile and glanced back at Rob who nodded.

 

Soon they were all sitting in the car Brad driving. Chester would have just gotten them pulled over cause of speeding. He just wanted to get as quick as possible to the hospital. Cause going back in time wasn't possible.

 

\--------


	12. This is the sun behind the rain

\------

 

"Mike! What the hell happened?!", Chester rushed inside the hospital room followed by the guitarist and the drummer.

 

Mike shook his head not really wanting to talk. His nose had some white tape on the bridge and the color under his eyes was some crazy shade of 'I have been punched'. The skin on his cheek and temple was raw and bruising too. Chester felt like his heart was being crushed. Why the fuck again does he had to be hurt, he thought.

 

"Are you alright?", the blond grabbed his hand only making Mike try to pull his away.

 

"No. I'm not letting you go", he pulled his lips to a tight line.

 

Brad frowned and turned to look at the drummer who looked clearly uncomfortable.

 

"You must be Mr. Bennington", suddenly a police officer was in the room closing a door behind him.

 

"Yes?", Chester arched his brow.

 

"I talked with Mr. Shinoda earlier briefly and decided it would be better to wait you. You two could leave us alone for a while. This shouldn't take long", the officer nodded at Brad and Rob and sat down opening a paper pad.

 

Chester shrugged to the others and watched them leave the room.

 

"So I got your statement about the rape. Now we have to talk about the attempt who lead to the death of a person that was involved in the rape", the officer said making Chester gasp.

 

The hell?! He knew about that already? Mike had told that all. Alone?!, he thought feeling his heart race.

 

"Do you have to use that word?", Chester sighed squeezing Mike's hand who seemed like he didn't want to hear about it at all.

 

"Yes. I'm sorry but there are no better term that would be as straight forward. Tell me about the incident Mr. Bennington?", the police shook his head.

 

"Well... I went to the toilet and the man suggested that we should have 'fun time'. I said no and he didn't let me leave. Then he... he ripped my shirt. I tried to get away but he said he had a friend waiting outside. And then he started to unbuckle my belt. I got angry and screamed at him to get off of me and he hit me. Next I know Mike came in the toilet. The man... he was happy that Mike was there. And then Mike asked him to release me. He didn't. He started to choke me. And Mike... He hit him apparently with a beer glass. I didn't see it but we talked about it later. The man released me and then Mike grabbed me and we ran outside. After we had talked with our friends for a second we headed home. But why the hell are we talking about me when he is the one hurt here?!", Chester stopped getting an annoyed look from the police.

 

"He is fine now. Let's continue with the story shall we?", the officer sighed.

 

Chester glanced at Mike who was looking in front of him his glazed eyes filled with tears. Shit. Shit, shit, shit, Chester thought just wanting to hug the half Asian.

 

"We ran home and he crumbled. Only then he told me who the man was. He had recognized his voice. And we told the rest for our friends. That's the story", Chester rushed his words.

 

"Okay. The talk with the bartender I have already heard. Mr. Shinoda tell me about the attack today? You already told that they were the other two that raped you", the officer made Chester cringe at the word choice. Why do they have to be so blunt, he thought.

 

"I was walking home from work. The other yelled and cause I recognized the voice I turned around. Then he said that I was the one that killed their friend. It took me some seconds to realize who they were. And then I tried to ran. They tripped me. And...", Mike explained his voice monotonic until it faded away mid sentence.

 

"And? Go on Mr. Shinoda", the police officer didn't give any slack.

 

"Do you really have to be so blunt? He is a human being for fuck's sake!", Chester growled.

 

He was getting really angry at the officer who didn't seem to have any emotion. He was acting like a robot.

 

"Mr. Bennington. There have been several severe crimes done. And you both are involved. I don't have to be kind. I am here just to do my job", the officer gave a piercing glance at the singer who fell silent.

 

The room was quiet for a while. Then Mike inhaled heavily and continued.

 

"They said that I have a lesson to learn. And that I already know they are good at teaching it. The other pushed me to the wall and I yelped cause it hurt. The man said they knew where I live and I should be quiet. Then they tied my wrists with zip ties. I pleaded for them to let me go, that it was an accident. But.... he....", Mike gasped for air.

 

There wasn't enough air in the room. He was feeling he would choke. The voices floated in his head now connecting to the faces. He didn't want to see them. It was enough that he heard them. But now only thing he saw was the black haired man laughing at him.

 

"MIKE! Breathe!", he heard Chester's voice echo somewhere far away.

 

Chester noticed instantly that something was happening. The half Asian stared somewhere in the distance and his hand started to shake. Then he stopped talking and gasped for air. The police officer stood up instantly to get a nurse when he saw the panic in Chester's eyes. Guess he is human after all, he thought and focused back to Mike.

 

"Mike please...", he pleaded feeling tears run down his cheeks. Why?, was the only question he had.

 

Nurse came quickly with the police and injected something into Mike and after a little while he calmed down and started to breathe properly again. The police officer sat down and Chester was fuming. He really thinks it is okay to continue?, he thought.

 

"Mr. Shinoda. Are you feeling okay? Could we continue? Only some details left I believe?", he said after a while.

 

Chester stared at the half Asian who was clearly calmer but still staring into empty space. He wanted to hear what happened but not at the expense of Mike's health.

 

"Okay.... He... He said that they could let me go. And go to my house and choose one of my friends. And then they laughed. I pleaded them to leave my friends alone and then the other hit me in the face and told me to shut up. The... the other asked does the other want to be first. Next the police was telling us to not move and then next thing I guess I fainted", he mumbled.

 

They... They didn't do more to him?, Chester was thinking ferociously.

 

"Do you know which one was which? You said earlier that two of them raped you and one used only your mouth. It does not mean he would get shorter sentence cause of that. We are way beyond that with these two scumbags", the police officer tapped the notepad with his pen.

 

"I believe so... It was the black haired man", Mike mumbled.

 

"And what makes you believe so?", the officer pushed.

 

"He... the grip on my hair was similar. And then he told that he would want to have fun with my mouth again", Mike closed his eyes barely able to say the words.

 

Chester felt like screaming. He wanted to yell to the police that even though he was doing his job it wasn't right.

 

"Thank you Mr. Shinoda. Now few words from me about the future before I let the doctor talk with you", the officer nodded his face still blank.

 

Chester felt the half Asian whimper obviously fearing the doctor. This was too much, he thought feeling so bad for him.

 

"So the man who died. It wasn't the first time for him. And the death was an accident. He had an injury on his head from the beer glass but after that it seems like he had slipped possibly a glass shard and hit his head which was what killed him. The other two are now under custody. This wasn't first time for them either. They will face a long time in prison. That being said you both are free to go and we will contact you if we need to fill more blanks. Here is my card if either of you have anything to add. Thank you for your patience", he explained and then nodded leaving the room.

 

Mike gave a long sigh when the police exited the room.

 

"I'm so sorry Mike... I wish I could... erase it all", Chester brushed his wrist where the bruises were from the zip ties.

 

"Chester you can't. And it wasn't your fault so you don't need to be sorry, okay? I am fine. Just... Fuck. I need some time to get over this. Just the reason why I didn't want to go to a police the first time", the half Asian muttered.

 

"At least... maybe this time it is finally over. They can't hurt you from the jail", the blond tried to smile.

 

Same time the doctor walked in and introduced himself.

 

"I have seen your medical report and talked also with the doctor that treated you first when you came in. All has been taken really good care off and we believe there will be no future complications. X-ray showed that the ribs have healed well. The nose isn't broken but it had a small fracture. It will heal on its own. The other injuries I got told of didn't really even need attention. Thanks to your friends you have healed well, young man. And now you are ready to go home. Take one of these if needed. And please come back to talk to me if needed", the doctor nodded handing Chester a bottle of pills.

 

He left the room leaving the door open. Brad peeked carefully in and when Chester nodded they entered the room giving questioning looks. He was rather quick, Brad thought about the doctor.

 

"Can we go?", Chester whispered.

 

Mike was happy to leave. It didn't take long for him to grab his things and follow the others. Chester bit his lip almost feeling the pain Mike was holding on his shoulders. Maybe it is really over, he thought bit hopeful. They drove in silence again, now the reason for it sobbing in the back seat.

 

Back at the house they didn't know what to do. It was late but still they all felt like they didn't want to leave the half Asian alone. Chester was certain that Mike would just have nightmares.

 

"Mike... I don't... I don't know do you want to sleep. Or be alone. But I know I can't sleep", Chester said pushing his hands to his pockets.

 

He was so afraid to even touch Mike being certain that he would push him away. And it broke his heart.

 

"No. I don't think I could sleep either", Mike shook his head staring at the floor.

 

"Neither can I", Brad said getting a nod from Rob too, "but I have an idea".

 

"Maybe we could try to push it aside. Order some food in and watch some crazy movies. Something happy, not too serious. I will call a day off tomorrow", he suggested.

 

Rob smiled. The idea was good and maybe something they needed.

 

"Okay", Mike said surprising them all.

 

They didn't have really expected that Mike would want to be around them. Brad nodded and went to get his phone to order the food. Chester smiled slightly to the half Asian who had lifted his eyes from the floor.

 

Soon they were all gathered around the TV eating some chinese. The movie they had chosen was really bad but none of them cared. Just staring at the screen helped to distract their thoughts.

 

"Chester... Could you... hold me?", Mike whispered suddenly.

 

He was scared but he had to trust Chester. Needed to trust him.

 

"Of course Mike!", Chester gasped so surprised and held his arm up so that the half Asian could crawl under it.

 

Mike felt comfortable snuggling in Chester's lap. Like it was shielding him from all the bad out there. He just needed to figure out what would help him to push the bad away from the inside.

 

"Hey... Do you want to talk about it?", Chester said softly.

 

"Not really. I was just so afraid that they would come and hurt you", the half Asian shivered to the thought.

 

"Not possible now", the singer shook his head looking down at the man on his lap.

 

"I know. I'm so lucky that the police happened to be around", Mike sighed.

 

Chester raked his hand in Mike's hair playing with the strands. He could feel him relax slowly. They watched silently the stupid movie not even really paying attention what was happening.

 

"Chester...", Mike interrupted a scene in the movie which didn't even make a sense.

 

"Yup?", the blond brushed Mike's chin with his thumb.

 

"I think... I love you", the half Asian whispered.

 

Chester's lips spread to a lovely smile and he kissed Mike carefully.

 

"I think I love you too", he muttered in the middle of the kiss.

 

On the floor Rob slapped Brad who was just about to say something snarky. Not like they weren't happy but Rob wouldn't let the guitarist ruin the moment with his comments. Terrible day lead to something so beautiful.

 

They continued with the movie Rob giving a look for the guitarist so that he wouldn't open his mouth. Soon deep breaths of the half Asian filled the room and the drummer turned to look. Mike had fallen asleep head on Chester's lap.

 

"Hey... Do you want something?", Rob whispered when he saw the singer's cheeks were glistening from tears.

 

"Could you grab a pillow for me and a blanket for Mike?", the blond said quietly and Rob nodded getting up.

 

Chester wouldn't want to leave the half Asian alone. Or wake him up. It was more than okay to sleep there. Rob came soon back with a pillow and adjusted a blanket over the other man. Brad had closed the TV and left to his room.

 

"Are you okay?", he asked worried about Chester too.

 

"Kinda. Kinda not. I feel so bad for him", the singer sighed.

 

"He will get over it. This was just a setback. He is stronger than we think", the drummer smiled.

 

"Yeah... It just feels so... It's not fair you know?", Chester shook his head.

 

"Yeah... I know. It's not... I'm off to bed. Don't feel like sleeping but we'll see. Do you need anything else?", Rob asked giving Chester's phone from the table closer to him.

 

"No. Thank you. Wake me up in the morning okay?", the blond tried to smile.

 

"Will do. Night", Rob squeezed his hand and left.

 

Chester sighed frowning. Why there was so much bad in this world?, he thought feeling his heart heavy with worry. He could never protect Mike from all of it but he sure as hell would try. He stroked Mike's cheek feeling grateful that he was now there, safe. Mike looked so calm which made Chester hope he didn't have nightmares. Carefully he adjusted himself to a better position and closed his eyes. It had been long day and even though he didn't want to sleep he was exhausted.

 

\------


	13. When you've suffered enough

\-----

 

Chester woke up next day to a sharp neck pain. He groaned still keeping his eyes shut and just then remembered the last night. And the whole day. Oh poor Mike, he thought slowly opening his eyes. The half Asian had curled onto a fetal position head on his lap still and other hand gripping onto his shirt. He looked so peaceful now but the it could be totally different story in his mind.

 

"Coffee?", Rob was suddenly there with a steaming cup of coffee.

 

"Holy crap! Didn't know you were already up", Chester was startled.

 

"Didn't want to wake you up earlier", the drummer handed him the cup, "or him".

 

"I woke up about an hour ago and you two looked so comfortable", he continued keeping his voice low.

 

"Looked, yeah. But my neck is killing me now", Chester gave a soft laugh rubbing his neck.

 

"I'm awake now", Mike yawned glancing at the singer.

 

"Rob, could you get me a painkiller too please?", the blond asked receiving a nod from the drummer.

 

"So about yesterday... If my foggy brains will allow me to think", Chester cleared his throat continuing while raking Mike's hair with his fingers. So freaking hard to start the talk. And he is so pretty, he thought.

 

The half Asian sighed and stirred, "No, you don't need to say anything about the..."

 

"I know, but I want to. I'm sorry we weren't... that I weren't sooner there. You had to be all alone so long with the horrible police", the blond muttered.

 

"I think you came as fast as you could, right? The police... He was really persistent to talk to me before you came. I didn't want to but... If you had came earlier he would just probably ordered you to stay outside through the talk", he noticed then where his hand was and released his grip from Chester's shirt.

 

The singer smiled softly stroking Mike's cheek, "Yeah, we did. Lucky we still had the car."

 

"Guess I have to say also something...." Mike sighed, "What I said yesterday wasn't something cause of the shock. I had actually thought it some time. And since I couldn't push the feeling away I thought it is real.

 

Rob got back handing him the pill and disappeared then to the kitchen. The singer sipped his coffee the other man's head still on his lap and paused to think.

 

"I didn't think you said it hastily. Maybe the third attack just made you say it out loud", he finally said.

 

The half Asian smiled happy that the blond had figured it out so easily. "Exactly. It made me think that maybe I should live now. Before more bad happens."

 

"Not gonna let more bad happen", Chester frowned.

 

Mike glanced at the coffee cup that was just tiny bit too close for his comfort. "You can't keep me safe for ever. There could be piano dropping on me when I go out."

 

"Right... You have watched too much cartoons. Yes I know I can't protect you from everything but I think it is little bit easier from now on", the singer smiled.

 

Suddenly there was a loud thud upstairs followed by a yell. Chester looked at Rob who rolled his eyes sighing.

 

"No idea, but I'll check him", the drummer said then laughing.

 

Mike got up to sit and stretched too. He was pining for coffee and that look Chester knew and handed his cup for him. Mike frowned but the blond insisted, "What's mine is yours. Besides there lot more in the thermos."

 

"How are you feeling today? And if you can I would like to hear a proper answer. Not 'fine', okay?" he continued turning to face the half Asian.

 

He looks so cute drinking from my favorite coffee cup, he thought waiting for the answer.

 

Mike sighed and went somewhere far away for seconds. "I don't know. Guess I am glad that they got caught. But... Maybe I should have gone to police in the first place. I regret the most that you were hurt too. And don't say it wasn't nothing. It was. And it could have been so much worse. And then yesterday..."

 

His voice just disappeared. Or more like words. He didn't know how to put it in words. That he had been so afraid. Even more scared than in the first time. Letting his mind travel back to that he bit his lip. He could have died. Then he wanted to die, but not anymore.

 

"I was more scared than when it happened first time. Cause I knew what was coming. And after that they would have... I'm sure of it, they would have hurt you. Or Brad...Rob.... Or all of you. But when I think if I would have gone to the police, what would it have helped? They would have gotten some DNA but that's it" he continued after a while.

 

"Besides... Would I be worse now if I'd gone to police then. All the tests and... Makes me sick to even think about it. But I'm happy that it was you who found me", he sighed

 

"Talk about silver linings", the singer mumbled giving Mike a sad smile.

 

"Yeah. And I think I haven't slept that well in ages. Maybe cause they got caught I can finally push it aside", Mike shrugged.

 

Chester sighed and glanced at the staircase where the other two were just coming down, "Just don't push it too far. Before you deal with it properly."

 

"I know. Have long way to go. The faces and voices still haunt in my mind. But I could try more the writing stuff. Have some ideas", the half Asian nodded getting a heartwarming smile from the singer.

 

"What was the thud then?", the blond asked from the two who were grinning.

 

"He had a dream and fell of the bed", Rob laughed.

 

"Well that's... what were you dreaming about?", Mike's eyes widened.

 

Brad just blushed slightly and went to get coffee making the drummer just snort and shrug.

 

"Where were we? Oh yes the writing! Team up with Brad, he had some ideas too", the blond nodded.

 

"Will do as long as you'll be there too", the half Asian nudged him.

 

The guitarist came just in right time to them and Chester briefed him what they had talked about. Which excited Brad and he went to get pens and notepad instantly.

 

Chester cleared his throat and leaned towards Mike, "So.... About what you said. And what I said then. I didn't say it cause you said it. I really do mean it."

 

"And I... I feel like we have something important here. I would like to keep it. Even if the band thingy gets somewhere I don't want it to get middle of us. We can still be together and in same band. I at least hope we could manage that", he grabbed Mike's hand to his.

 

"Okay. This is all new to me so I don't... I don't know how does this work. But I guess only time will tell", Mike smiled. Omg, he is so cute, he thought staring at the brown eyes.

 

Brad heard it and coughed amused by the situation, "Well it is new to him too. I think this is the longest relationship he has ever had.

 

"Fuck you Delson", Chester laughed.

 

"Seriously dude! You just fuck and then meet another man", the guitarist grinned sitting down with the notepads handing other to Mike.

 

The blond rolled his eyes but couldn't help the smile, "I think we had this talk already. Besides he doesn't need to know all about my past relationships."

 

"If we really think about it... I don't think they even count as relationships. Relationship should include dating like dinners and that kind of shit. And otherwise spending time together. More than just fucking", Brad continued.

 

"I don't think you're an expert on this matter", Rob pointed out from the kitchen.

 

"Hey! I used to be very popular amongst the girls!", the guitarist pouted.

 

Chester snorted making the drummer laugh, "Yeah.. Keep telling yourself that."

 

While the drummer and the guitarist were bickering the singer concentrated again to Mike sitting next to him.

 

"But I do like the idea. You know, dinner, movie and such. Maybe we should try it", he leaned to give a soft kiss for Mike.

 

"I would totally like it", the half Asian answered blushing slightly. Holy crap I'm apparently really doing this, he thought.

 

"Okay you two lovebirds hands off of each other. We have songs to write", Brad threw a pen for Mike.

 

Rob grinned in the kitchen and started to make something to eat for all of them. He was happy that the two were together but even more happier that he didn't have to wake up in the middle of the night to Chester being fucked by someone. At least yet, he thought snorting.

 

\------


	14. But this is how beginnings start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are. Final chapter. So freaking hard to let go, even harder than when I finished my first story. Poured so much emotion to this that it feels like it is double the length than it really is. Sad endings aren't for me so grab your tissues for the loooooove. Thank you for joining me for this ride and hanging on. I love you all <3

\-------

 

"Hear that? They are waiting for you", Chester whispered to Mike's ear.

 

"I'm pretty sure there are just bunch of drunken people who don't even know who we are", the emcee joked wrapping his arms around the singer.

 

Brad happened just then to turn around and see the interaction. And received a slap from Rob before he could say anything. Nothing had really changed between them as people or as a band. The bassist was awesome and accepted also Mike and Chester having a relationship. Not his cup of tea but they both worked their butts off and didn't let it interrupt their work. And they looked really happy. He still felt tiny bit of an outsider so it really wouldn't even be a thing for him to complain. The other new attachment to the band was this weird Korean dude that was the deejay but also the humor upgrade. Or downgrade as Brad would say.

 

"Ha! I'm pretty sure they are here to see us. Or just you", the singer pulled Mike's face closer by his earrings and kissed him making him smile.

 

"You ready?", staff member came to get them.

 

Mike shook himself trying to chase away the nervousness. They had released their first album few weeks ago and it was the thing that he was most nervous of. Because they were on Billboard top 200 chart and not in the bottom, but as second on the whole list. Which told them that they had something big on their hands. He loved to play in these small venues and new cities where many from the crowd probably hadn't seen them yet and all they had to do was to convince them to stay. And maybe even buy the album if they hadn't done it yet. 

 

Chester had borrowed him some bracelets and every time he raised his hand a tingling noise reminded him about the singer. He wouldn't hear it on the stage but he knew they were there. Most calming thing really.

 

"Dude seriously, I'm certain that someday you will drop your glasses on stage and step on them", Mike sighed when the singer adjusted his glasses.

 

"Nu uh. It's Brad who will do it says my crystal ball", Chester sticked his tongue out and grabbed Mike's cap from his head.

 

"Chester! Give it back, can't go to stage without", Mike laughed and reached his hand to take it back.

 

"No! I'll borrow it. Besides your red hair looks way better than mine did", the singer slapped his hand away before pushing the cap on his head hiding his now shaved head.

 

"That wasn't cause of the hair but your stupid mustache that was more like two hairs across", Mike laughed and nudged the other.

 

"Oh fuck off Mikey! That's not nice!", Chester sulked.

 

Mike snorted and kissed his cheek. "I love your goatee more."

 

"Okay lovers stage time", Rob cleared his throat and pushed Brad in front of him to the stage.

 

The show was over super quickly. During the second song Chester had bursted into laughter and put his glasses away cause Mike was right- he had almost dropped them many times. Now he was freaking sweaty, his white t-shirt soaked and his red pants glued to his legs.

 

"Sad we had to play so short set", Mike sighed wiping his neck to a towel.

 

"It happens. We'll make up for them. Let's try not to miss the flight now", Brad dried his guitar strings before packing it up.

 

"We're going home", Mike grabbed the singer in his hug but pushed him away then. "Ewww! Jeez, you're even more sweaty than normally."

 

"Aaawww, poor Mike. I thought you like me slick and...", he started but was soon shut down by a towel thrown on his face by Brad.

 

"The flight. And I don't want to hear that talk for the whole seven hours", the guitarist rolled his eyes straightening his shirt.

 

Rob pushed him out the door. "Let them be. They're cute." He knew Brad was just joking and didn't really have anything against them.

 

"That was not cute dude!", Brad was throwing his hands in the air but rest they didn't hear cause the door shut behind them.

 

"We really need to go. The cars are waiting", Joe yawned pointing at the door.

 

Chester shook his head laughing to the incident and grabbed his coat. The emcee followed him and soon they were outside staring at the beautiful city that never sleeps. Brad had gotten in the other car with Joe and Dave and they climbed in to theirs with Rob.

 

"You looked so good on the stage", Mike mumbled to his boyfriend's ear on the backseat.

 

The singer laughed softly, "I thought you didn't even notice."

 

"Sure I did", the emcee winked his eye smirking.

 

He was planning to sleep on Chester's lap during the flight. Six plus hours wasn't long time really, but it was night and they were exhausted. Not only cause of the gig but also cause the album success and all what came with it. He couldn't have never believed that making a record of their own they would gain that much attention. It had so much emotion and literally blood, sweat and tears behind. He had had really hard time with few songs first but when Chester explained that the audience wouldn't know what the lyrics were about, but they would interpret them to their needs and feelings he understood that he would manage.

 

The incident was in his mind only occasionally. He had tried to take Chester's advice in that too and didn't bury it too deep. Just enough so that he could deal with it piece by piece. Therapist wasn't an option but somehow the deejay had been one that listened and gave great advices along with the singer. They had known before all this band thing and when they met again he instantly new Mike wasn't the same man as he used to be. Which wasn't only a bad thing, Chester had reminded him. Hours and hours of conversations and staying up late would have torn many friendships apart when the cause was something so horrible but they weren't leaving him. None of them would.

 

"Whatcha thinking?", the singer nudged him.

 

"Just the past year and all that. You know, what happened", Mike sighed.

 

Chester grabbed his hand and entwined their fingers. "Do you want to talk about it?"

 

"Nah. Was just wondering how lucky I am", he squeezed the hand back.

 

Chester gave him a smile that could lit a whole room up and he fell back to his thoughts.

 

The two guys that had attacked him with their friend weren't that lucky. The black haired man was killed in jail fight before he was sentenced and the other was serving a life. He had done so much bad before even meeting the two other fellas that the judge was really surprised he hadn't got caught before. And he had started to plan to kill his girlfriend just before the last incident with Mike. The police found so clear evidence that it was added to his cake and the girlfriend was unharmed. The fucking silver lining.

 

That was pretty much all he thought about them. He couldn't forgive, that was a cliche. He just tried to let go off the anger. And to concentrate to the future rather than dwell in the past. Even though the past helped to write great lyrics. Which was exactly where he poured all the anger. Nightmares he had were more like coming and going but he managed. That was only cause of the singer. He was always there. Even when he had a bad day and wanted to shout him to fuck off Chester hugged him and let him cry the frustration out.

 

"You want the window seat, right?", Chester asked when they got in the plane.

 

Mike nodded gratefully and leaped to his seat past the singer. The plane was almost deserted. Only some people in the back so they had the comfort of silence. Dave sat with Joe in front of them and Rob with Brad behind them.

 

"So what do you guys wanna do when we hit one million copies?", Brad asked when the plane was finally in the air.

 

Dave snorted, "Well maybe something more festive than Hooters again."

 

"Ooooh! Hooters! That's a good idea!", Joe got excited.

 

Rob laughed rolling his eyes. "I think it was your idea the first time too."

 

"Eeeew no tits please", Chester hid his eyes behind his hands.

 

"Look what you did Joe! Now he is upset, poor thing", Mike laughed and grabbed the singer under his arm.

 

"Well obviously it would be a treat for us four. Not you two", Brad kicked Mike's seat receiving a disapproving look from a flight attendant who was just handing them peanuts and water bottles. 

 

"Exactly. So some place else. Can't bear to look when four man are drooling over some fake boobs", the emcee laughed when the flight attendant had passed them.

 

"Hey! Those were not fake ones! I just almost got a permission to try if you wouldn't have ruined it!" Joe turned around to point at Mike.

 

Mike swatted Joe's arm away and turned to look at the singer who was amused by the conversation. "Besides, do you guys really think we can reach one million copies?"

 

"Of course we can. Easily. And way more than that", Brad answered like it was totally certain thing.

 

"If you say so Delson", Mike sighed glancing out from the window at the receding city lights.

 

"Hey, have little faith in what we are doing. And what you are doing. We wouldn't have done the record without you", Chester nudged him.

 

"I do. Well at least I try. But million is a lot. And it's not all cause of me", Mike let his lips curl to a semi-smile.

 

"Nu-uh. They love it. Cause of you," the singer shook his head. "Besides we wouldn't have this weird korean dude that doesn't do anything else than scratch and draw some shit, without you."

 

"Asshole!" Joe grunted and threw a handful of peanuts over his shoulder targeting Cheser but some landing on Rob and Brad.

 

"Dude! We're not that famous yet!", the guitarist yelped trying to shield himself to no avail.

 

Mike rolled his eyes and sighed, "I don't even want to be famous."

 

"We know baby. He is just thinking about the boobs", Chester kissed his cheek.

 

"Am not!", Brad laughed kicking now at Chester's seat.

 

"Seriously?! You're such a brat", the singer waved his hand in the air laughing.

 

"Well where do you think he got his name from", Rob snorted poking the guitarist and received a slap back. Soon they were both slapping at each other.

 

"Could we just all behave?! I would like to sleep but it is kinda impossible with you five", Dave raised his voice suddenly. Sure he was in good mood, but also tired.

 

"Yes mom", Brad pushed his hands to his pockets moping.

 

"Wait, five... I didn't do anything!", Joe yelled.

 

Dave sighed heavily shaking his head thinking, "And this is really what I signed up for."

 

"You kinda started it in the first place Joe... But let's not start again! Chester needs his beauty sleep", Mike nuzzled the singer.

 

"Hey!", the singer laughed.

 

"Didn't mean it like that babe", the emcee stroked his pouting lips with his thumb tugging the ring in his lip carefully.

 

The singer grabbed his head to push their lips together. And finally there was peace and they could get some sleep. One by one they all drifted into the dreamland. Few hours on an airplane wasn't really much but some anyway.

 

When they landed Mike yawned and groaned, "Need more sleep."

 

"Me too", the singer mumbled.

 

Slowly they exited the plane and further the airport to two cars again. Now Mike and Chester were alone in the other car with the driver cause they were headed to another address than the rest. Because they had now their own house and the rest lived still in Rob's place. When Dave and Joe had joined the band and moved in it had just got too crowded and Chester thought after few huge fights that it would just be way better if they would move out with the emcee. Which had worked perfectly ever since. Their house wasn't big but they loved it.

 

Mike opened the door and let the singer enter first. "Finally at home."

 

Chester groaned, tossed his bag on the floor and let himself fall on a couch. "I'm sooooo tired."

 

"Poor baby", Mike tilted his head. "Are you sure you can't make it to the bed?"

 

"Guess I have to. Besides I wouldn't mind a shower", the singer yawned trying to get up.

 

Mike laughed and get to pull the other up. He pushed the groaning singer towards the bathroom still laughing.

 

"Don't you dare to laugh at me 'Noda!", Chester rolled his eyes when he couldn't even pull his shirt off without yawning.

 

Once he get the singer undressed he pushed him in the shower following soon after he got himself naked.

 

"Mike I really can't even stand properly", the singer laughed clinging to the other.

 

The emcee grinned. "Just a second, I'll wash you. You'll get to sleep then."

 

He washed the swaying singer gently and then himself trying to be as quick as possible. Then he lead him to the bedroom drying him to a towel while walking.

 

"Mike you're wet", Chester frowned when the emcee sat him to the edge of the bed and was about to climb in.

 

"I thought you like me slick and...", Mike arched his eyebrow getting back to the joke.

 

"I would laugh if I weren't so tired", the singer yawned again having hard time to keep his eyes open.

 

Mike pulled the towel of from the singer drying his hair a little before crawling in the bed. "Let's get some sleep now shall we."

 

Then he pulled the singer on his arms and threw the blanket on them. Omg, so comfortable, he thought his every nerve relaxing finally.

 

"I had so much fun today", the singer mumbled nuzzling to Mike's neck.

 

Mike kissed his head exhaling. "I noticed that."

 

"Properly have as much fun tomorrow too", Chester tilted his head to look at the other.

 

Mike smiled. "I really hope so." His heart was bursting from all the love he had to give for the singer.

 

"I'm happy. Are you happy?", Chester breathed staring at the other with sparkling eyes.

 

Mike's smile widened from ear to ear when he kissed the singer and answered, "Yes I am. Couldn't be happier. With you."

 

 

~~~END~~~


End file.
